


Caught Out

by carolelained



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 06:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4468967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolelained/pseuds/carolelained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex plans to destroy some evidence with unexpected results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught Out

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this story over two years ago and it was stuck on the P.C, so I decided it was time to finally give it an ending.  
> All mistakes are mine and mine only, sorry no beta for this one and I live in a mad house with seven kids.  
> This one's for you Jaimek thank you :)

Caught Out  
By CarolelaineD

I was having a bad day but hell that was pretty normal for me, I’d discovered just what the Consortium was up to and was not happy at all.  
They had perfected the cloning program and the D.N.A, the clones would look and think the same way as the test subject so soon there would be an army of clones.

Once activated they would be able to infiltrate anywhere, they were so perfect anyone would believe them to be totally human. Only problem was that I believed what they were doing was wrong I am not truly religious but I still believed they don’t have the right to play God. 

I had managed to get in to Spenders office to see if there was anything that I could do, apparently there was going to be a shipment around midnight the following day. The clones were to be shipped out of the country, hell all one hundred clones going to one hundred different countries.

All the information the file held was very basic and only shed some light on things, however all of the clones were assassins, so they were producing clones to kill and shipping to order to other countries.

I really needed to get my head straight and think how to stop the truck, I knew how the Consortium worked so made a plan of action. They would not want attention or for the truck to be stopped, there would be one man driving and two in the rear of the truck armed, they’d be ordered to shoot if the need arose. 

I was hoping as a consortium member of sorts I would not be seen as a threat, however I still needed a few things before tomorrow. A couple of hours later I had everything I needed, I also had a complete plan of how I was going to pull it off. I knew that if Spender caught on to what I was doing I would be a dead man.

I rented an apartment using an alias name, I then went and stocked up with plenty of food and drink to last a while, I then set up a computer in one of the rooms before setting off to the F.B.I.

So where was Fox today? ‘Oh great!’ I realized Agent Mulder was away on a case so that was a bit of good news. As soon as I had everything sorted I grabbed some sleep.  
However soon after some sleep I was wide awake and very alert, I grabbed my car keys and headed towards forty two Hegal place. I planned to keep an eye on Mulder at all times, for some reason I had a deep down feeling they Would use Mulders D.N.A for their cloning program.

 I also knew that I would be going in to hiding for a long time if all goes well, I had to be prepared for every possible outcome.

Entering Mulders apartment was as easy as always, he was so lax on security for an F.B.I Agent and I had to wonder how the man stayed alive. I placed a camera in the bedroom and kitchen along with another in the living room, I had that one facing the apartment door so I could see if he left.

I turned it all on and did a quick check, all appeared to be working and the live internet feed would keep me tuned in to things as they happened. Hell I had even managed to put a small microphone in Spenders office earlier. I had done the best that I could do and it was time to return to my new home.

I had planned well and things were working out, the cameras were great and I had food, shit I grabbed my car keys and left for just one more item, I returned sometime later with a few bottles of good strong Russian vodka.  
I had to be ready if the mission was to be a success, I would also need to be off the grid for an unforeseeable amount of time. 

The following evening I showered and dressed all in black, I also shoved the black ski mask in to my pocket. I had the map of the trucks destination and just needed to be at a remote spot on its route. At least I would have my old friend darkness on my side.

I drove to the selected spot and waited, as soon as I knew the truck was coming I threw the stinger across the road and waited in the shadows, I would remain there until the truck came to a standstill.

The stinger had damaged most of the tires on the truck as it came to a halt, I appeared from nowhere and shot the driver within seconds using the silencer, at least that way the passengers would not know.

It was standard procedure to have the men in place before the driver took up his position, as far as they would know I would be the pissed off driver. I opened the rear door and told them I had a flat and needed help, as soon as both men had exited the truck they were to receive a bullet to the back of the head.

  
This was where time was critical now and I had to act fast if I wanted to stay alive, however as soon as I climbed into the rear of the truck I stopped dead in my tracks. All rational thought was lost as I stared at the many tanks before me, every fuckin tank had an identical clone of me.

It appeared that the consortium was using my D.N.A to make the clones, one hundred assassin clones identical to myself and all trained to kill.  
It was an unnatural strange feeling as I opened the tank closest to me, hell the clone was perfect in every way even including identical scars.

In all outward appearances everyone would believe the clone to be me. Fuck this, I decided to take one out and put it in my car just to see how good they really were.

I set all the explosives and drove a safe distance away from the truck, it was then that I pressed the button sending the rest of Spenders creations to Hell. The car shook as the bomb exploded and the flames lit the sky up, shit I knew that the flames would be seen for miles and it was time to move before anyone arrived.

I got out of there as fast as I could go with the clone in the rear of my car, however I had to slow down once I reached civilization as I had no plans to be arrested for speeding. Fuck I had no idea how the hell I would explain the naked body on my back seat. Knowing my luck I would be arrested for murdering my look alike.

At present I had no idea what I would do with the clone, taking it had just been a spur of the moment thing. I knew from the research files it would take twelve hours before it showed signs of life after release from the tank, it would have the same intelligence and memories of the D.N.A donor up to the time of the D.N.A extraction.

I drove the rest of the way to my apartment and wondered if I should have left it behind, however I knew deep down I wanted to see just how good it really was. I got back in the early hours of the morning and moving the clone alone was hard, finally I had it on the couch and left it there as I had a few things to do before it or whatever it is came alive. 

It was now official, Spender wanted whoever was responsible found and terminated, it was made loud and clear there were to be no second chances. He was furious when he had been told, many years of work and over a hundred clones up in flames and all destroyed.

At the moment my only saving grace was that Spender had not found out yet it was me, also if I had my way the cancerous bastard would never know. I still had the freedom to move around and maybe I might just have some fun with the clone, might as well find some use for it so it was worth while bringing it back.

I had just got back from my regular visit with my so called boss Spender, it was time for a long hot shower then grab something to eat and drink, I was unsure about the vodka just in case the clone woke earlier rather than later.

I also remembered that I had Agent Mulder to entertain me if I were bored.  
Once showered and more relaxed I turned on my computer, soon I got a good clear image of Mulders apartment including the sound.

Mulder was on the phone sounding rather pissed off after hearing about all the clones, it was amazing what the man found out through the grapevine. He seemed pleased that the other person on the phone wanted to meet up somewhere and discuss things even further. Hell Mulder was like a dog with a bone once he got a bit of information.

I soon learnt that Mulder watching was really entertaining and one hell of a pass time, I watched as the man walked in to the bedroom fresh from the shower, God the man was naked and well hung. Fuck I had thought he was huge in that red speedo, however this was like a wet dream come true.

My hands soon found their way in to my boxers, hell I was so turned on it was either my hand or I fuck the clone. I realized that prospect of the second option was very disturbing, however I had no problems with my hand as I watched a very gorgeous naked Fox and it was like been a teenager all over again.

I locked all the doors and hid all the weapons in case the clone woke before me, I was feeling so tired after everything of recent and just needed a couple of hours sleep. Soon my thoughts drifted back to Mulder, God the man had always been a fantasy of mine and I had wanted him, hell I still wanted him.

It was not long though before my thoughts drifted back to the thing in the other room, what the fuck was the thing really? Was it a real person or a fluke of nature? Maybe it was just some scientific abomination however there was only one thing I knew, shit I would need to sleep before finding the answer to that one.

From the minute I woke it took over my thoughts, shit it was made from my D.N.A so that made it human, however it should not be or even exist. It was just like Emily had been no on the other hand scrap that as she had come from Sully’s eggs so therefore was part human.

Fuck I was starting to get one hell of a headache from all this thinking and decided it was just an abomination, hell when I finish with it I might just give it to Mulder and let him decide.

Suddenly an idea popped in to my head, I would send the clone out and see if it really passed off as me, great I could send the clone to Mulder and that I way I wouldn’t suffer the beatings, also I would see just what Agent Mulder was up to.

I was brought out of my day dreams as my mobile was ringing, or as I call it the Spender hot line, you answer or suffer the consequences.

“Alex where are you at the moment, and have you heard about my shipment?”

“Yeah Spender I heard, why was it important?”

“It had one hundred of our finest clones in it, also it had been top secret yet everyone now knows about it.”

“Well I’m out of town at the moment Sir, I am busy following some leads.”

“Are the leads regarding my shipment Alex?”

“Yeah I heard some rumours and thought I would check them out.”

“I want you back here as soon as possible Alex, I want everyone here so I know where they are until the spy is found.”

“Yeah no problem, so what was so special about the clones.”

“That’s top secret Alex and on a need to know basis, let’s just say they were a new breed and could bleed red.”

With that Spender just hung up, fuck I knew it was only a matter of time before I was found out. However at the moment I needed to just concentrate on the here and now, in the other room I could hear the clone stirring and slowly waking up. What the fuck had I done by bringing it here? Well too late now to do anything about it.

I was just so pleased that I had managed to get some boxers and a T shirt on the thing, shit I hated having to touch it and now I had to answer its questions. Well genetically he was me and asked lots of things.

“Who the fuck are you, shit are you a twin I never knew I had?” 

“You could say something like that, you never looked in a mirror so how do you know that we look alike.”

“I’m not a fuckin baby and have looked in a mirror many times in my life.”

  
It was interesting to know that the clone had my memories, a bit creepy but interesting at the same time. The clone had a very vacant lost look like it had forgot something, well soon I would inform it of its mission while I would just sit back and watch, oh and let’s not forget about been safe too.

I was informed by Spender of Mulders plans and that I was to be there in the alley, I was to overpower Mulder and then await further orders from someone within the consortium. The orders were to scare Mulder then just walk away.

I hid in the alley out of sight of everyone, I wanted to just watch and see how things played out with the clone, and also I wanted to avoid anyone that could cause me pain or worse.

I watched as the clone stood leaning against the brick wall just waiting, I was fascinated just watching it and it was a real eye opener to see how I acted, shit did I really come across as that much of a slut or had the clone had extra programing, well I was left to wonder as I noticed Mulder enter the alley.

Fuck now here was a real man who was sex on legs, even though I had to wonder just how the hell he was still single at his age. I also knew that he would not need to ask twice for me to fuck him, shit now I was starting to feel really jealous that it was the clone out there and not me. I also had to wonder if the clone had the same interests regarding Mulder as me.

I was soon to have an answer to my question as the clone had also noticed Mulder, It was as plain as day that the clone shared the same attraction to the G man as myself. 

The clone waited until Mulder walked past, it then grabbed him fast and shoved him hard against the wall. Mulder had tried his hardest to grab his gun but dropped it upon hitting the wall.

“What the fuck do you want now Krycek?”

“You seem a bit stiff and tense there Fox do you want me to sort you out.”

“Don’t call me Fox, just tell me what the hell you want Krycek then fuck off or I will arrest you.”

“Maybe I want you Foxy baby.”

“Like that would ever happen, just what the fuck are you on Krycek, shit you’re nothing but a lying murdering bastard.”

“Now come on Foxy just calm down a bit.”

“You must have a death wish, I wouldn’t touch you if you were the last person alive.”

“Your body says different Foxy babe.”

The clone leaned in and pressed hard against Mulders body.

“Get the fuck off me now, hell I’m not even in to men Krycek.”

“Time will tell Foxy.”

“Ha the next time I see you Krycek you’re a dead man, I swear here and now that I am going to fuckin kill you.”

The clone stepped back and started to walk away from Mulder.

“See you soon Foxy.”

The clone exited the alley way leaving a very baffled Mulder behind, however I could see the hard on Mulder sported even with his pants on he looked huge, I was just glad that the Agent had truly believed the clone to be me as the true fun would begin soon enough.

I stayed and watched until Mulder finally left, obviously the man had to wait until the bulge in his pants had gone down, shit I had nearly come myself thinking about how that could have been me pressed against Mulder and not the clone.

One day I would have Mulder the way I wanted him, that or I would die trying. If I had a choice I would rather die at Mulders hand than anyone else. I knew though that Mulder really needed to get over his hang ups in life while he still had a life.

There would also be this issue regarding Bill Mulder between us without anything else, shit I had been there in the bathroom but believe Louis had put the bullet in the man’s head. Then also there was the betrayal along with a lot more including Melissa Scully. Shit all it had got me was the consortium trying to blow me up with a car bomb before I fled to Hong Kong.

I had to stop dreaming and go home, I needed to discuss a few things with the clone, shit I would just say it was an assignment from Spender if it asked. It was as obvious as hell that the clone shared my attraction for Mulder so it would make the job I had planned a lot easier.

I got home to hear the shower running and I knew it was the clone, God it had been so realistic and I should have got one years ago, hell I could have retired to some warm sunny place. As soon as the clone was out of the shower I informed it that we needed to talk regarding Agent Mulder and Spender.

“Spender has an important job for you, it’s one of them jobs that you do without question or face the consequences.”

“Okay so what does he expect me to do?”

“Your assignment is Agent Fox Mulder.”

“I thought that he had been dealt with earlier today.”

“Spender wants you to get a bit closer to Mulder also go a bit deeper.”

“So what the hell am I meant to do then?”

“You are to convince him that you never killed his Father or Melissa Scully.”

“Yeah right he will kill me before he would believe that crap.”

“That’s not all.”

“Yeah right what else am I meant to do along with getting myself killed.”

“You are to become his lover using any method that you have to.” 

“Why the hell would Spender want me to be Mulders lover?”

“Do you really think that I am stupid enough to question Spender?”

The clone just sat there shaking its head like it was already dead.

“Great point taken so when do I start?” 

Shit I could not believe my plan was working so well, at least this way it was not me if Mulder got really pissed and saw red.

“You are to start straight away.”

This was to be the second time today that I had given the clone my gun and jacket, this time however it was worth it and I had a spare gun. I was glad to finally have some space as the clone was starting to creep me out, I would have the cameras to keep me company and entertained and once turned on I found Mulder asleep on his couch.

Sometime later I watched as Mulder was woke up due to the knocking on his door, it was like watching a movie as he got up off the couch to answer it grabbing his gun on the way. As he opened the door Mulder became wide awake and very alert, he then pointed the gun at his visitor and sounded really pissed off.

“What the fuck do you want Krycek, you have some nerve showing up here at my home.”

“We really need to talk, come on Mulder please I really took a risk coming here to see you.”

“You have nothing I want Krycek your a murdering scum sucking son of a bitch.”

“Yeah well your heads so far up your backside, shit Mulder you don’t even see the obvious even if it’s in front of you.”

With that remark Mulder became even more pissed off, hell that’s if that were even possible. Within a split second he grabbed the Krycek look alike and pulled it through the door.

“Sit the fuck down and start talking, you have five minutes and I want your gun until you leave.”

“Like fuck Mulder.”

“It’s by my terms Krycek or you get the hell out of here right now.”

“Fine have it your way Mulder.”

The clone removed the gun and placed it on the coffee table.

“And the rest.”

The clone went on to hand over the knife and garrotte along with his spare gun.

“That’s everything Mulder, hell it’s not like I even need any of it with you.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Krycek?”

“I could take you on one handed Mulder and still win.”

Suddenly the clones lip split open and did indeed bleed red.

“You fuckin bastard Mulder.”

“You asked for that and always have a smart mouth on you Krycek, also you now have only two minutes left.”

“I needed to see you, fuck I knew you felt the same way in the alley, you want me Mulder so don’t deny it.”

“You sick fuckin bastard, get the fuck out of here right now.”

“Truth hurts does it Mulder.”

Mulder saw red, hell even the veins on his neck stood out. He grabbed Krycek and had him pinned to the floor in seconds.

“Now who’s the sick one Mulder, fuck I can feel how hard you are for me.”  
Mulder lifted Kryceks head and slammed it on to the floor over and over again.

“I fucking hate you Krycek, I hate you so fuckin much and wish you were dead.”

I sat in my apartment watching the scene unfold before my eyes, shit was the clone really trying to get Mulder to finish it. Shit it made me wonder if that was how reckless I myself really was, yeah truth be told I knew I lived very dangerous at times.

I had always loved Mulder even after things had gone wrong between us, also I had planned to use the clone for two things, I needed to know if Mulder felt anything for me or really just wanted me dead.   
I sat back and just carried on watching and waiting to see how things would proceed from here.

Mulder sat on the floor just staring at the unresponsive body before him, fuck had he gone too far and killed the man this time. He went in to the unused bedroom and cleared the junk off the bed, shit one day he would really have to get that room cleaned.

Once that was done Mulder went to fetch Krycek, he pulled the unconscious man on to the bed and cuffed him to the headboard. He then just sat there in a chair watching and waiting for the other man to wake up. It was not to be long before the man woke, Mulder was suddenly faced with a very angry pissed off Krycek.

“Get these fuckin cuffs off me now Mulder, I swear that I am going to kill you.”

“Fuck you Krycek, you walk around all smug and think you can do what you want. Shit you should be locked up or even dead for what you have done.”

“Please tell me you’re not still hung up over that one, shit for the last time I never killed you fuckin father Mulder.”

“Ha you would say that Krycek.”

“You are one self-centred arrogant bastard Mulder.”

“So what makes you think that I will fall for this act then?”

“What act? There is no act just truth Mulder, you always go around saying that all you want is the truth so open your eyes.”

“I am not stupid by far Krycek, oh let me see it will be that cancerous boss of yours, tell Agent Mulder you love him and get him where you want him. Just what was meant to happen then if I had fallen for all your lies again?” 

“You don’t get any of it do you Mulder, shit I started fancying you from day one.”

“You fucked my life up, hell you even took Scully from me and destroyed me so many times. If that’s how you treat someone you love…………. Shit well let’s just say I hate to see how you treat your enemies.”

“You don’t get it at all as it was either you or Scully that night with Barry, and let’s just say most of my enemies are not around to ask how I treat them.”

“You are far more important Mulder.”

“Important to whom Krycek, Scully got dragged into all this because of me.”

“You’re far more important to the cause than you realize Mulder, and to me too.”

“What cause would that be Krycek your own cause and agenda? You selfish fuckin bastard you sacrificed Scully just so you could have me.”

“That was only part of it, without you colonization would have happened along with many deaths.” 

“You’re off your fucking head if you think I believe anything you say.”

“I can get proof Mulder then you would have to believe me, hell you saw so much yourself and still won’t accept things. You know what your father did, hell he even gave his own daughter away then blamed his son.”

“You leave my family out of this Krycek as you know nothing about them.”

“It’s time you woke up Mulder and heard some truths, I know far more about your father than you ever did.”

“From someone else I might have believed, however I will never believe anything that comes out of your lying fucking mouth.”

“So give it your best shot then Mulder just shoot me or arrest me, I’ve had enough of all of this bull shit. I have saved your ass many times and without me you would have been dead ages ago.” 

“You’re so full of shit it’s unbelievable, hell maybe I might shoot you as you deserve it. I could even phone Skinner and have you locked up right now.”

“I really don’t care anymore as I will be dead either way.”

“Yeah true that would be too easy for the likes of you, I don’t want it to be over fast so no point shooting you. I want you to suffer and feel pain as you sure have caused enough for everyone else.”

“So come on then what happens now Mulder?” 

“I haven’t decided yet what to do, however I know that I don’t want to look at you while I think.”

Mulder got a clean sock and tie out of the closet and moved over to Krycek.

“What the fuck are you doing Mulder?” 

“Silencing you, for once in your pathetic life you can shut the fuck up.”

He grabbed the sock and shoved it hard in to the man’s lying mouth, once in Mulder used the tie to secure it in place.

“There you go that’s far better, I will come back when I have decided what to do with you.”

Mulder went in to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka, soon he was sat on his couch and started to drink.

I watched as Mulders expression changed many times, shit how the hell was I supposed to get the fuckin clone back now. However I was soon more concerned with the amount of vodka Mulder was knocking back, shit I was glad now that it was the clone there and not me as Mulder was drinking the vodka like water. I had never seen Mulder like this and it was rather disturbing.

Mulder sat there and drank most of the bottle, fuck Krycek and fuck everyone as he would do as he saw fit. He was sick of all the half-truths and lies as everything was just bullshit. As Mulder entered the room Krycek looked like he wanted to kill him, shit now Mulder was thinking about all the people the man might have murdered over time.

“I am going to remove the gag now Krycek, so help me if you scream it goes straight back on.”

Krycek rubbed his mouth and looked at Mulder defiantly. 

“So what do you have planned, of course it’s still not too late to just let me go.”

“No chance, shit Krycek the streets are far safer without you on them.”

“Great I guess you’re planning to turn me in then.”

“No you’re staying here for now.”

“What the hell do you mean staying here, hell there’s no way I am staying here with you.”

“I feel offended Alex, there I was believing that you wanted me and to be with me.”

“Go to hell Mulder.”

“Fuck you Krycek as this is hell now for you.”

I sat there in front of the monitors and had hardly moved far at all, I was afraid that I might miss something between Mulder and the clone if I were to move far. Shit Mulder had told the clone that it was in hell, however if you asked me I would call it Heaven as Mulder was quite harmless really.

At all our meetings the worst Mulder ever did was hit me, yeah shit it hurt but it was worth it. I was sat here with a huge hard on and knew I would need to come again, that was to be the fourth time since I sent the clone to Mulders. I turned back to the monitors and watch my gorgeous Fox as I pleasured myself.

“I’m going to remove the cuffs Krycek, however you make one wrong move and you’re dead, one bullet in the head.”

“Yeah I get it Mulder, shit I’m not fucking two you know!”

Mulder removed the cuffs and proceeded to point the gun at the clone.

“Strip Krycek.”

“Fuck you Mulder.”

Mulder moved as quick as lightning punching the other man in the stomach, Krycek doubled over in pain with the force of the blow.

“Strip Krycek now, fuck you can keep your underwear on.”

“So why make me strip Mulder.”

“Because knowing you Krycek you will be armed to the hilt.”

Krycek started to undress until he was nearly naked.

“See now Alex it wasn’t that hard was it.”

“You’re dead.”

Mulder smacked the man in the face and re cuffed him to the bed. He sat there with blood dripping from his nose and split lip.

“You bastard Mulder, shit I did what you asked.”

“Do you want me to hit you again?”

“I don’t know why you can’t just let me go.” 

“I’m planning to keep you here for a while so just get used to it.”

“In your dreams Mulder.”

Mulder ignored the man and started to sort through many of the boxes in the room.

“What the fuck are you doing Mulder?”

“All in good time Krycek, you see when I was with Phoebe Green she had quite a few kinks.”

“And why are you telling me this, sorry to disappoint you but I don’t care about your sexual encounters.”

“Let’s just say she collected a few things over time, things that I know are still here somewhere in one of these boxes. I just wanted to find them as I thought they would be perfect for you.”

“You stay the fuck away from me Mulder.”

“Ha found it, brilliant let’s see just what we have here shall we.”

Shit the face on the clone looked slightly worried, Mulder pulled the items out slowly one by one until it was empty.

 

“Let’s see what would be good for you Krycek, hey we have a ball gag and a whip and even some more handcuffs. We even have an anal plug and a cock ring, and let’s just say many more goodies to surprise you with.”

  
“Mulder I swear here and now that I will kill you if you use any of that shit on me.”

“I guess it’s a shame that you don’t get a say at all in the matter.”

Mulder moved fast and soon had the other man on his back with both arms cuffed to the bed posts, he had hardly any room to move as he was fully stretched out.

“You make one hell of a picture Krycek all battered and bruised cuffed to the bed, just a few more touches to add and we will be sorted.”

The look on Kryceks face as Mulder came close could turn someone to stone, it was not so much Mulder but what he had in his hands.

“Mulder please this is really getting out of hand now, oh God please you even said you’re not gay so you can’t touch me that way.”

“I lied Alex, I wanted you right back when I first met you but never got the chance to ever tell you. There you were in your tight black jeans, shit any sane person would want to fuck that gorgeous tight ass.”

“Please Mulder, God I will beg if that’s what you want.”

“I wanted that G man Alex yet your far more dangerous and alluring as you are now, don’t worry I will make it good for you too.”

Mulder tried to get close to Alex without success, the other man was doing himself no favours by kicking out like that.

"Fine you can have it the hard way Krycek."

Mulder tied his legs to the remaining two bedposts before shoving a pillow underneath his backside. Once Mulder was sorted he carried on with his plans, soon he had the penknife and removed Kryceks underwear.

"Untie me you fuckin bastard."

"Do you kiss your mother with that vulgar mouth Krycek?"

Mulder applied the lube to the butt plug and slowly worked it in to the man’s very warm tight hole. Alex moved around in protest until it pressed against his prostate, then he suddenly went very still and was breathing extremely heavy.

"How are you feeling Alex, I will slow down if that's what you want?"  
"How do you think I fucking feel, shit you rape me Mulder and force me to enjoy it?"

Mulder just ignored the protesting man he inserted his finger and pressed it against the plug watching Kryceks reaction. Once he had the man just where he wanted him he slipped the cock ring in place.

"Can't have you coming too soon can we Alex."

"Please Mulder why are you doing this?"

"Why, well let's just say because I can."

Mulder then went in to the box and pulled out the studded collar and lead, he then fastened it to Kryceks neck despite him protesting. He pulled on the lead hard forcing Kryceks head up forcing the man to look at him.

"Just remember exactly who is in charge here Alex."

"Ha how the fuck could I forget Mulder."  
"I could put the ball gag in Alex however I am looking forward to hearing you scream."

"Shit I will beg if that's what it takes for you to let me come, however I will never forget what you have done to me."

"You can do far better than that Alex, you need to pay for all the evil you have done and the lives you took."

"Fuck you, shit I owe nobody nothing and you sure as hell know nothing Mulder."

"Shut the fuck up Krycek, you're nothing but garbage and deserve everything you get."

"Go on Mulder try justifying what you’re doing, maybe that's the only way you can sleep on a night."

Mulder stood there staring down at the body below him.

"I never sleep Krycek, so don't worry your pretty head about me. How the hell can someone who looks like you be a complete bastard."

"You judge me by what you think you know Mulder, well believe me, you know nothing."

"I know far more than you think, however, at the moment I only care about one thing and that's what’s in front of me."

“God just kill me Mulder rather than this."

"Why would I want to do that, hell this way I can fuck with you and fuck your head up?"

"Why go there Mulder, you hate me and will spend your life regretting this."

"That's my problem however this is going to happen Alex believe me."

Mulder started to strip out of his clothes and then got the lube, he parted the ass cheeks in front of him and removed the butt plug. He then applied some of the cool lube to the hot ass in front of him. 

“Fuck you’re so tight babe”

“Please Mulder don’t tease me as I need to come.”

“Do you want to feel me deep inside your ass Alex?”

“God all I ever wanted was you inside me, please Mulder just fuck me now.”

Mulder slowly slid his large and very erect cock into the willing man beneath him, Alex moaned in both a mixture of pain and pleasure from the entry.

“Your so sexy Alex I could fuck you all night.”

Soon Mulder had built up a steady rhythm hitting the mans prostate over and over, he was trying to prolong his own need to come so it wouldn’t end. However he soon had no choice as he reared up and pulled on the leash, he had never come that hard with anyone ever before.

Alex appeared to be really desperate, however Mulder seemed in no hurry to relieve the moaning man. It was as if Mulder wanted to just keep him there.  
It was doing my head in watching Mulder be so gentle with the clone, however I started this game and had to keep watching to see it to the end. I realized while watching that Mulder was hard again within only a few minutes of coming, shit he was now applying a large amount of lube to his own backside, it was then that I realized just what Mulder was planning to do.

Mulder lowered himself on to Alex’s cock and proceeded to fuck himself on the other man, just as he was about to come for the second time he removed the cock ring. Alex screamed out as his body climaxed and shuddered, however when Mulder looked down the man had passed out.

Mulder went to the bathroom returning with a wet cloth, soon he had the sleeping man clean so he then removed the ties from his ankles and rubbed the soft skin. He then went on to un cuff the mans wrists from the other posts before cuffing one wrist to his own. It was only a matter of time before Mulder fell asleep with Alex in his arms.

I just sat the staring at the cameras knowing that really I should also be sleeping, yet my brain worked overtime as I watched the image before me. Shit what the fuck was I doing to Mulder and also myself, God I felt so jealous of the clone and was wishing so much that it was me with Mulder. 

I knew at the moment I was unable to leave here, yet I wondered how Mulder would feel if I were to turn up and he would realize he’d just fucked a clone. I also wondered just why Mulder was holding the clone while he slept, shit so many questions with so few answers.

God I felt so alone and was wishing it was me that Mulder was holding, I had fantasized so many times that the clone was really me and I had fantasized about me and Mulder for years.

Myself and Mulder living happily ever, yeah right soon I would have a nice cosy little padded cell all to myself. I was brought out of my fantasy by the voices coming from the bug in Spenders office, time to see what that cancerous bastard was up to.

“Get Cardinal in here right now.”

I heard some unknown male voice reply to the smoker, then I heard cardinal knock and enter.

“Glad you could come so soon Luis, I have a job for you but I don’t want you to be trigger happy.”

“Fine Sir what do you want me to do?”

“I take it that by now everyone’s aware of the situation with the clones.”

“Yes Sir, all one hundred wasted and up in smoke.”

“Yes Luis but I don’ need reminding of the fact.”

“Sorry Sir.”

“We are now aware of the facts and just who caused me all this trouble, I want you to find Alex Krycek and bring him, to me.”

“Yes Sir no problem.”

“You may leave now Luis, however be warned of certain things, I want him brought to me alive, shoot him and you’re a dead man.”

“Yes Sir understood loud and clear.”

I heard the door shut as Cardinal left, I now realized that I was well and truly a dead man walking. Shit Spender had sounded well pissed off, he would want me alive so he could torture me before killing me.

I knew that the pain would be excruciating and that I would be begging for death before it came, however I also knew it was too late to change a dam thing in my life.

All I had ever wanted was a normal life and would have had one if not for Spender, my whole life had revolved around what that man wanted and I knew little about my family. I had heard about Mulder back when Spender had me train in the F.B.I, God the man was drop dead gorgeous and I wanted him, I then learnt I was to become Mulders enemy.

I knew that I was just going to depress myself even more and decided to call it a night, might as well before Spender caught up with me. I lay there thinking how much the clone was like me, shit it even had the same Mulder fantasies as me.

I used to imagine what it would be like to be Mulder’s prisoner and him fuck me, hell who am I trying to kid, I still have the fantasies now and would go to sleep dreaming about them.

Morning soon came around and I still felt tired and depressed, Shit now Spender had sent Luis after me I was a prisoner here all alone. However I needed to get the clone back so it could serve its true purpose, I needed it so that I could be set free.

Well thinking about things I guess it’s time to check up on Mulder and the clone, I was surprised to find them both still fast asleep, and even more surprised that Mulder was still holding the clone.  Mulder woke to find Alex asleep, he removed the cuffs and waited for the other man to wake up which never took long.

“You’re free to leave here Alex.”

“How come you’re just letting me go now, come on Mulder what’s the game?”

“I have feelings towards you Alex, hell there’s no way I can just keep you here and torture you.”

Shit that was when the clone broke down and started sobbing as it just lay there.

“Please Alex talk to me, God I am so sorry for what I have done to you.”

“Just forget it Mulder as it doesn’t matter.”

Alex suddenly got up and grabbed his clothes to dress.

“Alex talk to me.”

“I’m leaving now Mulder and you should be pleased, it’s too late for the sympathy crap.”

“Of course I’m not pleased and I need answers first.”

“Go to Hell Mulder.”

“You’re not leaving until you talk Alex.”

“Make up your fuckin mind, just what the hell do you want from me, you tell me to leave then stay.”

“All I ever wanted was the truth so we could move on.”

“The truth, what a joke as you never believe me so why should I bother.” 

“Things are different Alex, all I want is to hear you say it now.”

“Fuck you, just get the hell out of my way I’m leaving.”

  
Mulder grabbed Alex and threw him on the bed, he then held the clone down so it was unable to move.

“Talk now.”

“Get the fuck off me you bastard.”

“Now Alex come on just calm down.”

“Please Mulder don’t do this.”

“You’re getting turned on by this Alex, shit I can feel your hard cock digging in to me.”

Mulder leant forward and pressed his lips upon the other man and kissed him.

“Answer me Alex.”

“Answer what, please I need to get dressed and go now.”

“Did you kill my Father?”

“What do you think Mulder, Alex Krycek big bad assassin who is capable of killing anyone at all?”

The clone also had the same problem with letting their mouth dig their own grave, as he found out when Mulder punched him in the face.

“Fuckin answer me you piece of shit, I woke and was going to let you go as you looked so fragile and innocent, great how your concept of people changes after sex.”

“What’s up Mulder feeling dirty now after sleeping with the enemy, sleeping with the man you believe killed your Father.”

Mulder grabbed Alex by the throat and started to squeeze.

“You’re like some dirty fuckin disease Alex, you worm your way into peoples lives and under their skin.”

“Fuck Mulder let go... please you’re killing me.”

“And maybe I want you dead after what you’ve done.”

“I never killed your Father Mulder.”

“Well you would say that now to save your own skin.”

“That was always the problem between us Mulder, hell you believe me capable of killing thousands.”

“Well unless I’m mistaken that’s what assassins do for a living.”

“Where do you get off deciding just what I am Mulder, well fuck you because your far from the truth.”

“I’ve heard it all now Alex, go on then tell me just what you do for that black lunged bastard?”

“Shit because I carry a gun I must be an assassin, well you carry a gun so does that make you as assassin Mulder?”

“Go on turn things around on me, I asked you just what you do for that cancerous bastard…”

“I’m a fuckin lackey okay Mulder, nothing but a bloody dogs body.”

“You expect me to believe that’s all you are?”

“You bastard.”

“Out with it now or I swear you will only leave here in a box.”

“Okay have it your way I’m also the consortium whore, are you happy now Mulder.”

The clone tried to turn away from Mulder as the sobs consumed it with grief.

“Alex please just look at me.”

“I’ve told you what I am so please let me go.”

“I can’t Alex, God I don’t know why but I just can’t.”

“I’m not worth the hassle Mulder.”

“Maybe I think you are Alex, a certain part of me wants you here.”

“I can’t do this Mulder please, I spend my whole life getting fucked or getting fucked over nothing more.”

“Things can change now.”

“So you want to play house Mulder, hell do you really think Spender will just let me go?”

“He won’t find you Alex.”

“You don’t understand Mulder, I report in or he will hunt me down and kill me.”

“Fine but will you please stay just a bit longer.”

“For a short while then you have to let me leave, please promise me Mulder that you will let me go.”

“I promise Alex.”

Mulder started to kiss the other mans mouth and then his body.

“God I want you so much Alex.”

“It works two ways Mulder, I want to feel you deep inside me and never forget that feeling.”

Soon they were both making love until sleep claimed them both, once again fast asleep in each other’s arms.

Shit I felt my own cock turn to rock and needed to come once more, it was like watching some pornographic show or even better and was not hard jerking off. I cleaned myself up and went to get some coffee in the hope of staying awake, I then went back to check on the cameras.

Fuck I had not expected to see what was happening before my eyes, however that was when my world fell apart. Mulders apartment door was kicked open and then Spender entered looking pissed off, he was also followed by three of his henchmen.

“Cosy little scene you have here Agent Mulder an F.B.I Agent and a known felon, Cardinal do what you were ordered to do and do it now.”

Cardinal raised the gun and pointed, one bullet that was all it would take to destroy everything. The bullet pierced Mulders chest causing a painful death.

“Spender no, shit what the fuck have you just done.”

“Shut up Alex or you will be next, this dear boy is payback for what you stole and destroyed of mine. You must think I am really stupid.”

“You made those clones with my D.N.A why?”

“One hundred whores can go a long way Alex, now you can watch the only man you have ever loved die in your arms.”

“Please let me get him help, he can’t die like this please let me call an ambulance.”

“You won’t need one Alex as it’s already too late, Mulder would be dead long before it even arrived.”

“So you killed him just to get back at me.”

“You can rot in jail for all I care and pine for your lost lover, many years with no one or nothing.”

“You bastard, you could have let him live.”

“Mulders been a thorn in my side for many years now and it had to end, this way I kill two birds with one stone.”

I watched the camera unable to do anything or even turn away, I watched as the clone sat there holding Mulder until he took his last breath. I then screamed like a madman at the same moment as the clone. `

“Don’t worry I have a surprise for you Alex and it will be here soon, goodbye Alex.”

With that said Spender turned and left along with his henchmen, I swore there and then that I would get revenge for Mulder. I walked around the room and finally grabbed a bottle of the strong vodka, however I never even managed to open it before things changed, My attention was brought back to the cameras when I heard A.D Skinners voice booming out.

“What the fuck did you do to him Krycek, fuck did you rape him then kill him?”

That was when Skinner turned to the S.W.A.T team and started barking out orders.

“Cuff him now and get a body bag up here, it should be you going in that bag you fuckin bastard.”

I sat there and watched as the clone was cuffed and led out of the apartment, then the body of my lovely Fox was covered over by Skinner. So all I had left now was revenge, yet I had to do it without Spender finding out he set up a clone.

God I could not stop the tears from falling, fuck I had loved Mulder so much and had never got to tell him., Had Mulder died finally believing that he was wanted by me, I have to admit the clone had done a good job portraying me.

Shit all this thinking was giving me one hell of a headache, fuck it I would open the bottle and have a drink in memory of Mulder. Once the bottle was open I found myself unable to stop until it was empty, I hated life and could not take this new kind of pain as I had never loved and lost before.

What the hell would I do now, just stay in this god forsaken apartment until I rotted away? Maybe I should just down all the bottles of vodka and pop a few pills, at least that way the pain would finally end.

I went on to spend the next few days unconscious or throwing up from the mixture of alcohol and drugs, however I had not bargained on bringing up most of the pills so they were ineffective. I awoke to find myself very much alive yet felt like I was dying, fuck I was burning up and could not stop shaking yet I felt so cold.

Great I knew that I needed a Doctor and fast, I called an old friend who had been a Doctor as I could not risk going to any hospital or medical Centre. Within an hour I had managed to get a cab and go see him, it felt strange been hugged my friend and ex-lover.

“I owe you bigtime for this one Vic.”

“God you look like shit Alex.”

“Yeah I feel that way too.”

“You reek of alcohol, please tell me you’re not drinking Alex.”

“I had a few that’s all as I had some bad news, please Vic I need to just lay down and I feel so cold.”

“Fine it will be easier to examine you laying down.”

“God I hate feeling like this and can’t win either way.”

“Your kidneys are swollen beyond belief, shit are you trying to kill yourself or something Alex?”

“Maybe, however it appears to not be working.”

“I warned you before what would happen, shit Alex you can’t drink this way with kidney disease.”

“Can’t you just give me some magic pills to cure it?”

“Nothing will cure the disease Alex however you have a severe infection, I will give you some meds for the infection along with the depression.”

“What the fuck for?”

“I’m not a stupid man Alex and know when you’re depressed, shit we were together for many years you know.”

“Yeah I remember Vic and I don’t need reminding that it’s my fault we split up, not that anything will matter once I get revenge.”

“Alex it wasn’t your fault your past stopped you from having feelings, just promise to take better care of yourself.”

“God Vic you were still special to me and for that reason I will try, however I am unable to make any promises.”

“Do your best that’s all I ask, do you want to stay here for a couple of days until you feel better.”

“I can’t as I have some unfinished business to take care of, but you’re a good man Vic and I can’t thank you enough.”

I managed to get a cab back to my apartment without any trouble, I then took some of the meds and went to bed for some rest. I woke to find I had just slept for over twelve hours and needed a piss more than anything, I then took some more pills and prayed they would hurry up and work.

I was soon back asleep for a few more hours, however when I awoke this time I felt somewhat better, hey as long as I could walk I’d be okay. I checked the cameras and realized it had been two days since Mulders death, the apartment was in darkness except the fish tank, hell even Mulders bed had been stripped.

 Just clean everything up like the man never existed in the first place, it would be okay as I would get revenge on them all.

Later I showered and dressed in black jeans and a white T shirt, the leather jacket would be staying at home as I slipped into an old boiler suit and long haired wig. Soon I had an old toolbox and some essential items that I would require, once that was sorted I checked the cameras one final time then put on the fake beard.

Everything was quiet at forty two Hegal place so I checked on Spender to see what he was up to, great I am now officially dead at the hands of Skinner no less. Apparently the clone had pissed Skinner off when it was arrested and was to receive a bullet to the head, one bullet and the clone was no more.

So now I was officially dead along with Agent Mulder, the one thing that I knew was that Skinner would pay for what he had done.  
It was now time to leave and go retrieve the cameras and say my farewells, I intended to get in unnoticed and just look like an average maintenance worker.

I arrived and had no trouble getting in to Hegal place and made my way to number forty two, I used extreme care as I entered but all was quiet and I was alone, how I felt at the moment I wanted it no other way.

I looked around and then entered the bedroom so I would feel close to Mulder, shit it was hard to believe he had been murdered in this very room. I stripped out of the boiler suit and removed the wig and beard, I then opened the tool box and pulled out the vodka along with my meds. 

I knew that I was not meant to drink at the same time as taking the pills, however I needed to suffer and feel this way to block out the other pain of losing Mulder, that pain was worse than any other I had ever suffered and there was no magical cure or pills to end it.

I also retrieved a small electrical device from the tool box, as well as removing the cameras I also wanted to scan for any extra bugs or anything else. I had placed three cameras yet I had removed six plus a bug from the apartment, I smashed them all and finally felt like I could finally rest.

I lay down on the bed with the vodka and started drinking and drinking, I planned to drink it all and just block everything else out if I could, the vodka would either kill me or destroy my kidneys, which would mean a very slow painful death from kidney failure.

Soon I was too drunk to care anymore, I fell in to a restless sleep as I lay there hugging one of Mulders tee shirts. However everything was to become rather confusing but at least the pain had stopped for now, I could hear a voice from far away calling me and knew I had to open my eyes.

“Come on Alex wake up please for me.”

Shit I suddenly realized why the pain had gone and why I was no longer sad, at least now I would get to be with Mulder.

“Mulder?”

“Yeah Alex it’s me so open your eyes.”

I tried so hard to open my eyes and look at Mulder now I was here with him, I had thought death would feel different yet I felt weightless with no pain or worries.

Over time however things changed as the nightmares started, fuck I was trapped all alone left to die in the silo, ha that was after I had just puked up an alien. Shit then I was in a cold basement naked and strung up as Spenders men whipped me.

Afterwards they had cleaned my large wounds with warm water and salt, then there were Spenders special friends, the ones I had to bend over and take it up the ass for.

  
I felt like I was suffocating and could not take anymore, shit it must have been a trick in the beginning as this was anything but heaven, oh God I realized that this way my personal hell. This was my fucked up life and I was going to live it over and over again, soon there was nothing at all as the blackness claimed me once more.

Finally I opened my eyes and realized it was a nightmare and I was still alive, I struggled to focus on anything yet the voice was unmistakable and I recognized it straight away.

“Come on Alex stay awake, please try and focus.”

“Mulder.”

“Yeah it’s me Alex, just try not to talk too much.”

“You’re dead, shit I saw Cardinal shoot you the bastard shot you Mulder.”

“Alex come on calm down we can talk soon.”

I spent the next few hours in and out of sleep and struggled to stay awake, it was sometime later when I finally became awake and alert. My throat was so dry however after some water all I wanted was answers.

“I saw you die, shit was it all just one big fucking set up Mulder.”  
“Hey I want answers too Alex, as I remember you died after Skinner put a bullet in your head.”

“I have never touched you Mulder or ever had sex with you or anything, shit I guess this is where you beat me.”

“Alex for God’s sake can you just calm down.”

“It was a fuckin clone, shit all I wanted was for everyone to think I was dead and disappear.”

“But you do want me don’t you Alex...... come on tell the truth?”

“No it was a fuckin game, shit I just used you to have some fun with.”

“So why are you here, more to the point why are you in my bed cuddling one of my tee shirts?”

“I was drunk Mulder nothing more, I had installed some cameras so I could get my kicks watching you fuck a clone.”

“You have to admit that you liked what you saw and wished it was you, you wanted it to be you that was tied to that bed with me fucking you.”

“No Mulder it was a game and I never wanted you so just let me go.”

“Alex listen.”

“Shut the fuck up Mulder, God I fucking hate you leave me alone.”

“Truth hurts does it Alex.”

“Think what you want Mulder, shit where the fuck are my clothes?”

“Your too weak to leave here.”

“I will cope Mulder.”

“Who the fuck do you think looked after you for the past two days, bathed you and changed your catheter.”

“Oh shit I never asked you for any of this, God I just want to throw up.”

“You’re staying Alex so just accept it.”

“Fuck you Mulder you can’t keep me here.”

“We will see Alex just get some rest, then we need to have a chat.”

“Whatever just fuck off and leave me alone.”

I knew I would need some rest to take on Mulder so I grabbed some sleep, I finally made it out of bed and dressed ever so slowly as it was time to get out of here, I needed to be away from Mulder before I came to any harm. I opened the door as slowly as I could, shit that was when I heard the click of the safety catch.

”Just where the do you think you’re going Alex?”

“You won’t shoot me Mulder.”

“Sit the fuck down Alex.”

“No chance.”

“Alex we can do this the easy way or the hard way, but I assure you we will be having that talk.”

“Fine whatever as long as I get to leave afterwards.”

“Please Alex just tell me why it’s so hard to be near me?”

“You have to accept the fact it was a clone Mulder not me.”

“Yeah but it could be you Alex.”

“Is that what you want Mulder, shit was the clone not good enough for you.”

“How’s it feel Alex to be used and ...”

“And what Mulder, to be used and what?”

“How does it feel to be used and caught out at your own game Alex?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“It was never me Alex, you see I have never had sex with you or your clone.”

“I watched you with the clone myself Mulder so don’t try lying.”

“It was a fuckin clone Alex, don’t you see, shit I did the same as you and used the clone so I could disappear, the good thing is everyone thinks Fox Mulder is dead.”

“So let me get this right Mulder, my clone had sex with your clone.”

“Yeah that’s right.”

“Where the fuck did you get a clone from Mulder?”

“A very nice English man gave me it.”

“Shit you sold yourself out to the consortium, what the fuck did you have to give them in return Mulder?”

“I haven’t paid him yet.”

“What the fuck did he want Mulder?”

“He wanted you Alex, I was to give him you and get the clone in return.”

Fuck my whole world just fell apart, Fox Mulder had used the clone thinking it was me just to use it as leverage.

“Great so now you just plan to hand me over, you fuckin bastard Mulder. So if Spender had not had you shot you were going to fuck me over twice.”

“Please Alex it’s not what you think.”

“Yeah right I’m not fuckin stupid.”

“Alex I can explain everything if you let me.”

“I don’t want to hear anymore of your bullshit, I am walking out of that door Mulder and the only way you’ll stop me is a bullet.”

I got up and walked out of the door, shit now the pain I felt was far worse than before. Everything had gone to hell and had backfired on me as Mulder had just used me, he had fucked me and was going to fuck me over.

I disappeared and would have ended everything but I was a fuckin coward, I would hit all the backstreet bars until I could no longer stand, as I knocked the vodka back I knew I was pathetic and sometimes just wished my kidneys would fail me.

So far I had stayed low for over three months, there were many times I wondered where Mulder was and what he was doing. Shit I knew it was time to call it a night and go home if you could call it a home, shit I lived in a fucking dive that in reality was unfit to live in.

I took a slow walk as I was in no hurry to get back, the cool night was far better than that stuffy hole I was returning to. As I turned the corner there stood four teenagers, shit I knew by the way they were looking that they planned something.

“Give us your wallet man.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“No man just hand it over and you can be on your way.”

“Get yourselves home boy’s as its way past your bedtime.”

“Fuck you man.”

Shit I realized too late that my movements were slow because of the alcohol, it was all over in seconds as one of them lunged at me and everything went black.

Oh God my head hurt so much and all I could smell was chloroform, shit I had become so lax and soft since my run in with Mulder.

Fuck, fuck fuck I realized that I could also smell something other than the chloroform, I knew I was a dead man as I smelt the cigarette smoke. I was afraid to open my eyes as I could feel my arms stretched out above my head and tied.

“Come on Alex wake up as some of us have places to be.”

“Fuck you Spender.”

“Believe me boy you’re in no position to be mouthy to me, you also have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Go to hell Spender, ha you’re already there.”

“I want you to sober up Alex, I also want you to pay for what you stole and destroyed of mine.”

“You bastard, they were all made from the fucking D.N.A you stole from me.”

“Luis move now, I want the jacket and T shirt removed and him sobering up.”

I felt the knife close to my bare skin, it skimmed ever so lightly over my nipples as it cut away the layer of clothes. I started to shiver but would soon warm up when they started.

I screamed as the whip came down over and over on my bare skin, shit my back was on fire and I was in agony yet they just kept coming, I knew Spender would want me dead for what I had done.

“How pretty you look Alex all tied up and screaming like that.”

“Fuck you Spender.”

“You won’t be fucking anyone dear boy, however I guarantee there will be plenty fucking you.”

“You can’t hurt me anymore than I already hurt.”

“You are an arrogant little fuck Alex however this time I will break you, Luis clean him up and get him stripped.”

I knew things would only get worse and that I was digging my own grave, I was praying that I would just black out and it would end.

Suddenly I was freezing as the stone cold water hit me just before I felt the knife, Luis was back removing the rest of my clothes leaving me in my boxers.

That was when I felt the knife tearing away at the last piece of clothing I wore, oh God he ran the knife slowly over my cock and balls as I remained still, then the tip of the knife was at the entrance of my ass like he wanted to fuck me with it.

Luis stepped away removing the knife as he waited for Spender, while me I was awaiting my fate and still digging my own grave.

“I swear your dead cardinal.”

“In your dreams Krycek, guess who gets to play with you when Spenders finished.”

Fuck suddenly the man grabbed my balls and squeezed hard until I was nearly crying.

“Threaten me again Krycek and I will cut them off.”

We both became silent as Spender entered the room, shit worst was I knew Luis was capable of carrying out his threats, which was when that cancerous bastard’s voice dragged me back to reality.

“You may carry on Luis, I want you to work on his backside and thighs for now until I say different.”

I screamed yet again and knew my body could not take much more of this, I decided that maybe dead was better anyway as my life was worth nothing. Every time I started to black out they threw cold water at me and soon I was throwing up all the vodka and could hardly talk.

“For fucks sake just kill me.”

“That would be too easy dear boy you should not have betrayed me Alex, death will come Alex but only when I decide.”

After they whipped me some more I finally thought it was all over, however I soon realized that it was far from over as they spoke.

“You have done well Luis and I am proud of you, you have one hour to play then we will be leaving.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Time for some real fun now Alex as we see just what turns you on, God you don’t know how hard I was watching you bleed however I’m not sticking my dick up your diseased ass, believe me I have other ways of making you scream.”

Fuck I kept blacking out as he was talking to me yet came too as he backhanded me, it was then that I noticed what he was doing and realized just what he had planned for me.

Cardinal grabbed me from behind and I screamed at the touch on my battered body, I also wanted to throw up as he whispered in my ear as the pain began.

“Let’s see how tough you really are Krycek, shit you’re nothing but a fuckin pretty boy.”

I tensed up as the first two fingers entered my anal passage, fuck it hurt however the two fingers soon became four.

“How’s it feel pretty boy I bet it turns you on, well this is only the beginning as now for the real pain.”

I screamed as soon the mans whole fist was fully in my ass, fuck the bastard just laughed as he clenched and unclenched his fist within me.

“Take it you fucking whore as you deserve all you get, we all knew what made you tick Krycek you sick little bastard, you wanted to be Mulders bitch but hell even he didn’t want you.”

I could not stop the tears as his words hurt as much as his fist, yet the worst was that his fucking words were true. Mulder has wanted me just to use and give me away, give him to the Englishman without a second thought.

Suddenly the fist was gone, fuck I saw what Carinal was holding and knew it was the end. The pocket knife glinted under the artificial light, shit he was not planning on killing me with it but fuckin raping me. He was just about to shove it up my ass as Spender walked in and spoke.

“Come on Luis move yourself now fun’s over, it’s time we were out of here before anyone shows up.”

“What about Krycek Sir?”

“He is of no use to myself or the consortium anymore, we leave him here to die a slow painful death.”

I drifted in and out of consciousness not even knowing what day of the week it was, my whole body was in agony from the whipping and Luis’s fist. Just to top it off my kidneys were infected again from the vodka I had consumed, also without fluids the pain would just get worse. 

The only thing I prayed for was a fast death so the pain would end, I heard a male and female voice shouting in the distance, not that it mattered as I had started to imagine a lot lately.

“F.B.I show yourself now.”

“Skinner get in here now.”

“What is it Agent Scully?”

“Sir I think you had better look for yourself.”

“Shit we need to get him cut down now.”

“Sir have you seen who it is.”

  
“I am well aware of who it is Agent Scully, however I know all about him.”

“We need something to wrap him up in Sir.”

“We can use my coat but be careful with him.”

I remember screaming as the cloth pressed against my damaged flesh, I screamed until my throat was too sore to carry on. I could also feel myself been lifted by someone who was strong not that I cared anymore.

I finally opened my eyes but could hardly move, I was so tired and my body screamed in agony at the slightest movement I made. Shit that was when I realized I had no idea at all as to my whereabouts, I could hear voices from another room but they were too muffled to make out who they were.

I tried to get out of the bed and swung my legs over the side, shit yet as I stood my legs just buckled beneath me. I realized just how pathetic and weak I was as I lay there sobbing. I heard footsteps and then someone was on the floor holding me, all I wanted was to be alone and for no one to see me like this.

I looked up into the gorgeous face of Fox Mulder and now he would see just how pathetic I really was, also I bet he was getting a good laugh out of my situation. God I tried with all my strength to push him away yet I was too weak to even manage that, Mulder realized what I was doing and helped me back on to the bed.

“Do you want some water, please Alex at least look at me?”

I was far too upset and confused as to why he had me here, I found it was far safer just to turn and face the wall.

“You can have it your way for now Alex but things will change, I’ll go and tell Scully you’re awake so she can check you over.”

Soon I had Scully to deal with as well as Mulder.

“How are you Alex, do you feel up to drinking or eating anything?”

I sat there in silence and refused to speak to anyone at all, knowing my luck I would get Skinner next.

“Fine Alex I will just sit here and explain a few things, it’s totally up to you whether you listen to me or not.”

My voice was very hoarse but I decided I did after all want to ask a couple of questions, I just needed to sort myself out and get away from them all.

“I have only one question, sorry make that two.”

“Okay I will do the best I can to answer them for you.”

“Firstly I want to know why the fuck’s Mulder here and secondly why did you save me.”

“He cares Alex, he explained everything that had gone on with myself and Skinner.”

“He can go fuck himself as I don’t need his concern or sympathy.”

“Alex we found you beaten and half dead also brutally raped, what the hell do you think Mulder thought when we found you?”

“He was probably pissed off as I was damaged goods, I would have been little use for him to trade with. It would have been all over now if you had just let me fucking die.”

“Alex I will have to sedate you if you can’t calm down.”

“Stay the fuck away from me and just leave me alone.”

“That won’t happen for some time, you need help Alex to come to terms with what happened to you mentally and physically. Shit we had to put you in a coma just so your body could rest and heal, have you any idea what that did to Mulder Alex.”

“God it’s the same broken record, Mulder, Mulder, Mulder that’s all I fuckin hear how it affected him, well what about how it affected me, sorry I’m just Alex Krycek so who gives a fuck?”

“I do.”

Shit I looked up to see Mulder just stood there in the door way.

“You don’t care Mulder as I was just to be your gift to the consortium so you could gain your freedom, I think that pretty much sums up how much you care.”

“Yeah hell maybe you were a gift at first.”

“So what happened Mulder, you saw your clone fucking what you believed to be me.”

“Scully can you give me and Alex five minutes please.”

“Fine five minutes Mulder, however you’re not to get him stressed.”

“Okay Scully scouts honour I will behave myself.”

Great I was now here alone in this room with Fox Mulder.

“What do you want me to say Alex, yes I watched the clone of us both having sex.... and yes I wanted you so badly. Is that what you want Alex, me to declare that I love you.”

“Yeah right, you wanted to just use me and rape me because that’s what turns you on.”

“You arrogant little fuckin shit you don’t want to listen do you Alex, if you were not ill I would have hit you by now.”

“Now were getting to the truth, Fox Mulder gets off hitting and abusing people.”

Fuck I knew that I had pushed Mulder too far when he grabbed me by the throat, shit the bastard was starting to apply a lot of pressure.

“Why Alex, go on Alex tell me why you hate me so much.”

“Mulder please.”

“Is it because you loved me Alex and I used you.”

“Get the fuck off me now, I don’t want you or need you.”

“Funny how your body says different Alex.”

I could not take much more of been trapped here in this room with Mulder, I lunged at him but he just pinned me to the bed.

“There’s no point trying to even talk to you, shit you will never even give me the chance to explain will you Alex.”

“Scully get in here now and give Krycek a fucking sedative will you.”

“Don’t you dare, I will fucking kill you Mulder.”

“Why Alex, if you’re out cold I will be able to carry out my little fantasies on your body.” 

I knew that Mulder was trying to wind me up and he was doing a good job at it, and I had never known when to keep my mouth shut.

“I hate you Mulder more than anything, God Scully please don’t do this to me.”

“Mulder shouldn’t have wound you up but you need rest Alex.”

Great as Scully injected me Mulder lay on the bed and held me, soon I was too weak to fight him anymore but still unable to block out his words.

“I love you Alex and I won’t give up on you, shit I know that deep down you love me and want me. I swear here and now that I will kill Luis for what he did to you, he will wish that he had never been born. Sleep now Alex and we will talk later.”

I lay there and it was like torture having to listen to him, God why couldn’t Mulder just hate me like he used too.

I woke sometime later to find myself alone, now all I had to do was find out where I was and how to get the hell away from here. I had finally managed to dress and even find some shoes, I presumed by the size that the clothes must belong to Mulder. 

Now all I needed was to get my hands on a weapon, I could hear Mulder and Scully in the distance as I searched the other rooms. I soon found a room that by the mess could only be Mulders, as usual the man was so predictable as there was his spare gun next to the bed.

Finally I could get the hell out of here without anyone stopping me, besides Mulder I had unfished business to take care of, Cardinal would be at the top of my list with a slow painful death.

It was starting to piss me off that all the doors were locked and the keys gone, and Mulder claimed he loved me yet here I was kept as a fuckin prisoner. I opened one door and the room had a patio door partially open so I just slipped out, fuck it really was the middle of nowhere without another house insight.

 I did spot a four by four on the driveway which would serve my purpose, God dam it the thing would not start no matter what I tried. Suddenly the door was flung open and rough hands pulled me out, Great a very pissed off looking Fox Mulder.

“And just where do you think you’re going Alex!”

“Leaving here not that it’s anything to you.”

“That’s all you ever do Alex, shit you just run away from everything.”   
“Whatever just fuck off Mulder?”

“You’re not leaving here until we have talked Alex.”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

Great now I would have to use my last resort, I pulled out the gun and pointed it at the mans chest.

“Walk away Mulder or I will put a bullet in you.”

“I’m not letting you go this time Alex.”

I released the safety catch on the gun and knew it was loaded.

“Fuck you Alex just shoot me then as that’s the only way I’ll let you leave.”

“You bastard just how low can you get Mulder.”

The bastard knew that there was no way I would shoot him, fuck without thinking I threw the gun at him and turned to run. However I never managed to get far as Mulder slammed into me knocking me down.

“Get the fuck off me.”

“I will get off you Alex however if you fight me I will cuff you.”

“Fine whatever just don’t touch me again Mulder.”

I could not believe that I was been led back to the room I had just left, great prisoner in that fuckin room once again.

“You have five minutes to get changed and back in that bed, you’re not well Alex and we need to talk.”

“I am not a child Mulder and you’re not my Father.”

“Well Alex if you behave and listen you’ll get out of here faster.”

“Fine if it shuts you up.”

I was left alone to change and follow Mulders orders, I climbed in to bed without removing my pants and shoes. The door opened and Mulder re-entered, shit he just strolled across the room and sat on the end of the bed.

“You can’t face up to your feelings can you Alex?”

“Do we really have to do this Mulder, I hate you you’re an arrogant fuckin prick happy now?”

“You’re a stubborn bastard Alex and I know that you love me, ha your just not man enough to admit it.”

“Fine whatever, I Alex Krycek love you Fox Mulder with all my heart. There you go I said it so I will be leaving now.”

I threw the covers back and jumped out of the bed, I shoved Mulder on to the floor and ran for the bedroom door. I had thought that I would get away but as usual Mulder was fast, the bastard grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me to the floor.

“Was you going somewhere Alex?”

“Fuck you Mulder.”

“Yeah maybe after I’ve fucked you first Alex.”

“You’re one sick fucker Mulder.”

“Who knows maybe I am sick, however I know just how I feel about you.”

“You can’t Mulder, shit when I sent that clone you hated me and used me to get what you wanted. Now in the space of a few days you suddenly love me, well fuck you Mulder as I’ve loved you for years.”

“Deep down I know you have loved me Alex, I just don’t get why you sent the clone if you love me.”

“Before I disappeared there were things that I needed to know, even if it was painful I had to know the truth.”

“What was it you needed to know Alex?”

“I needed to know if you could forgive me or if you would kill me.”

“And just what did you learn.”

“I was stupid and for a moment I thought you loved me, then I realized the truth that I was nothing but a bargaining tool.”

“I think that deep down I have loved you for a long time, that first day I met you my world changed, you’re gorgeous Alex but then you went and betrayed me so I willed myself to hate you.”

“You always hurt me.”

“I wanted to touch you and the only way I could was by hitting you, so I just started blaming you for everything that went wrong in my life.”

“I thought you had hated me from the start as you kept ditching me.”

“God Alex when I watched the clone of myself I wanted it to be me there with you.”

“Nothing can come of this Mulder as I chose my path in life a long time ago, or should I say it was chosen for me and now everyone wants me dead.”

“Such as who?”

“Let’s see, well there’s Spender along with Skinner and Scully, also why did the Englishman want me Mulder?”

“Skinner had a body bag carried out of that warehouse so everyone already believes your dead, Skinner and Scully both know I love you and that’s why they brought you to me. Shit you were already half dead Alex, if they had wanted you dead they would have just left you there.”

“So everyone also believes that you’re dead too?”

“After the clone was shot everyone believed that I was dead, I disappeared Alex but had wanted you here with me but I believed you to be dead. You were shot on the way to custody by Skinner in self-defence. It was after I thought I’d lost you I realized how much I loved you, shit when you were found it was like we were been given a second chance.”

“I’m scared Mulder, I don’t think anyone has truly loved me and it hurt so much when I thought you had set me up, I just wanted to die especially after seeing you get shot. I really believed it was you but I guess you will also know that feeling, you yourself believed that I too was dead.

“Alex please listen to me.”

“I can’t as I don’t want to blow it, I don’t know if I am capable of accepting love or returning it.”

“I’m scared too Alex, how about we just take things slowly and one day at a time.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Mulder, I just want you to know that I want no lies between us and for that I need to tell you some things, shit this is so hard.”

“Just take your time its okay.”

“Despite what you believe I have only ever killed one man in my life Mulder, I have to live with that for the rest of my life however I believed I was saving you at the time.”

“Augustus Cole, yeah I remember that and how he made you believe the bible was a gun that he was pointing at me, you looked so distraught and upset afterwards.”

“It should have been easy after all those years of training, you see I was a consortium baby Mulder.”

“What you were brought up by Spender, where were your parents Alex they must have missed you.”

Fuck great now I start sobbing like a bloody baby and clung to Mulder like my life depended on it.

  
”Your okay Alex I’ve got you now and I’m here for you, just let it all out you will feel better babe.”

“I had no parents Fox, sorry I meant Mulder.”

“Everyone has parents somewhere, also Alex I would like it if you called me Fox.”

“I thought you hated that name?”

“Not when you say it, God it sounds so sexy and can be between just us.”

“If you really mean it Fox.”

“Yes Alex I mean it now what were you saying?”

“I was a test tube baby created from two unknown donors.”

“So Spender raised you then.”

“Yeah right, Spender got everyone else to do his dirty work, we were brought up by a nanny and training was to start at five.”

“What do you mean by training, also by we Alex?”

“It was me and Luis Cardinal, he was a couple of years older than me and bossed me around all the time.”

“Yeah he’s dead next time I see him after what he did to you.”

“It’s not the first time Fox, I was twelve years old when Spender ordered him to rape me. There were a room full of people and we were ordered to have sex in front of everyone, Luis was willing however I refused. It did not take long for Spender to have two goons hold me down while Luis assaulted me, Spender had promised the men a show and would not be shown up.”

“God I am so sorry Alex, shit I presumed way too much where you were concerned.”

“Yeah its okay as most people believed I was capable of all sorts, I had just wanted to protect you as I loved you so much and that’s why I shot Augustus Cole. Luis became the assassin not me Fox, shit the man was trigger happy and had no problem taking anyone out.”

“I should never have just presumed you were an assassin Alex I had no right, I nearly came over the night you shot Cole as you looked like you were falling apart, I wonder if things would have been different if I had.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it Fox as it wouldn’t have changed anything, Luis became his willing assassin and I became his unwilling whore. Spenders clients seemed to prefer the fact that I was unwilling and young, most got off on raping and torturing me.”

“I swear no one will hurt you again Alex as long as I live and breathe.”  
Shit I clung to Fox and for the first time in years I felt safe, I wondered if I had really been given a second chance in life.

“I’ll send Scully home now as you seem well enough, then we can spent some time together just the two of us and talk.”

“I would like that.”

“I also have something that was meant for you Alex.”

“For me.”

“The Englishman gave me a box and strict orders, if anything was to happen to him before I handed you over I had to make sure you got it.”

“What he’s dead?”

“Yeah he died in a car explosion.”

“Okay I will look at it later when I feel up to it.”

Next thing I knew Fox was kissing me ever so tenderly as he pulled me up off the floor.

“Well I suppose I had better go and get rid of Scully.”

I listened as Fox explained a few things to Scully, she seemed happy enough to leave as long as Fox never hit me again, I wanted to cry as he swore to her he would never hurt me again. At first I found it strange to be alone with Fox and him not beating on me, I was lost in thought when I realized the man I loved was talking to me.

“Are you with me Alex as you look miles away?”

“Yeah sorry Fox what were you saying.”

“I think you need to sit down and have a look in the box as it might help you.”

“God I don’t know if I even want to know, you were meant to hand me over to him as if I was nothing.”

“That’s why you need to look Alex, you need to deal with this then we can move on and have a life together.”

“Fine go and get it then.”

Fox returned sometime later and handed me a large box, I knew I had no choice and needed to deal with this yet I was scared like a baby, scared of losing Fox if I opened it.

“I will give you some space Alex and go make some coffee, I will be in the kitchen if you need me for anything no matter how big or small. Just remember that I do love you Alex, also I hope with all my heart that you truly believe me.”

“I do believe you Fox and I’m sorry for not letting you explain earlier.”

“At least we are together now and that’s all that matters. Come on as when you’re done we can shower and eat.”

“I will look forward to it Fox.”

I found myself alone and just sat staring at the box, Fox was right I needed to deal with this so we could both move on. I lifted off the lid to reveal three large padded envelopes that all had different titles on them.

I felt light headed as I read the title of the first envelope, Alex Krycek conception to age twelve top secret information. I also noticed that there was a letter pinned to the envelope in different hand writing, well I suppose this was a good place as any to learn about my past.

Dear Alex   
If you find yourself reading this it means I’m no longer in this world, I had really wanted to tell some things in person so you could understand, however I guess some things were not meant to be.

I believe that I was a fair man where you were concerned Alex, I also want you to know that I would never have intentionally harmed you. You suffered so much at the hands of Spender and deserved a better life, you also now deserve a future and a right to learn your past.

You need to deal with things and bury your past, find Fox Mulder and have the life together you both deserve. You and Fox Mulder are destined to be together and deep down you also know that, yet you’re both as stubborn as each other and refuse to give things a chance.

I had made a deal with Mulder to bring you to me, I knew Mulder capable and the bond between you strong. When you were a child Alex I began to love you like a son, however I guess I just couldn’t stand up to Spender when it really mattered.

I can’t change the past now and I hope you can forgive me for any wrong I brought upon you, this is my peace offering to you Alex please accept it and act on what you still can.  
The well-manicured man/ Englishman (The names you knew me by in life)  
My real name will remain anonymous to protect my family.

I sat there staring at the letter in my shaking hands, shit suddenly my head was filled with thoughts from my past I would rather forget. I knew I’d had enough for one day and went in search of Fox and food, who was still in the kitchen cooking a meal for us both.

“It’s not a lot Alex, sorry I normally just rely on takeaways as it’s far easier.”

“It will be fine Fox, shit I’m that hungry I would eat anything anyway.”

The meal was ate in silence until Fox decided to speak.

“Alex are you okay as you seem so quiet.”

“Yeah fine, I guess I’m still a bit sore and the scars are starting to itch.”

“I think you could do with an early night.”

“I had wanted a shower but I don’t think I can stay awake.”

“Come on let’s get the bed sorted out for you.”

“Are you coming with me Fox?” 

“I will just clean up the kitchen then join you.”

I made my way to the bed and laid down, god I was so tired and had wanted tonight to be special just me and Fox together, yet I woke up later to realize I must have been asleep before Fox even came to bed.

The night had been a restless one filled with many nightmares, however the warm body that was beside me was heaven.

“Alex talk to me babe.”

“What do you want me to say Fox?”

“I want you to tell me how you’re feeling about everything, it’s just you’ve been so quiet since you opened that box.”

“I hardly looked through it Fox, shit I just don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what, come on please Alex talk to me.”

“Do any of it anymore, know about my past or me and you, shit you were never meant to love me Fox I’m not worth it.”

“But I do love you Alex so accept it.”

“Yeah Fox Mulder voice of fucking reason, just get over it like it’s nothing just like the rest of my fucked up life. I’m diseased and will destroy everything I touch Fox.”

“We have each other, we just need some time to work everything else out Alex.”

“I just don’t think I can do it.”

“So what are you saying that we just end it here and now, we were doing fine Alex what changed?”

“That’s the problem Fox, shit even I don’t know anymore and just think I need some space, I think I need to leave and find somewhere else.”

“Please Alex stay here with me, I will give you space if that’s what you really want.”

“I don’t know if it makes sense Fox, shit I just need to work out my past before I can plan a future.”

“Yes I understand but you can still do that here.”

“I don’t know.”

“Fine answer just one question Alex, do you love me?”

Great now I was struggling to hold back the tears and life would change no matter what I answered, I decided I owed this man in front of me his safety and freedom no matter what the outcome. It took me a while to find my voice, even then I could only manage one word.

“No.”

“You’re a liar Alex.”

“God your clever Mulder, you’ve been calling me a liar for years so why change that?”

“Well liars are normally good at what they do, so come on then Alex look me in the face and tell me you don’t love me.”

Shit I could not bring my head up and lie to the man’s face, any other man yes but not this one person.

“Come on I’m still waiting, fucking look at me now Alex.”

Great now I am going to look like a fuckin baby as I yell my eyes out, I just feel so pathetic and a looser.

“I hate you Mulder you’re a fuckin bastard, just go to hell and leave me alone.”

Suddenly I was held tight in the arms of the man that I felt safe with, shit I had lied to him and had been willing to throw it all away.

“Come on Alex, please I love you and just want you to be happy.”

“My past is dark to say the least, I don’t even know if I will cope or survive Fox. Shit I read just one letter and it made me really depressed so what will the rest do.”

“All we can do is take it one step at a time babe.”

“I know you’re trying to help and I’m sorry for all the things I said and names I called you.”

“Hey cheer up as believe me I’ve been called far worse.”

“Yeah but I’m meant to love you.”

“You have to learn not to beat yourself up at every turn, I know that you never meant it and I am here for you.”

“I love you Fox, I want nothing more than for us to be able to make love, however I don’t think I can with this hanging over my head.”

“I would also like that too Alex, however I want you for more than just that so we will sort things out then move on together.”

“I will grab a shower and a coffee then make a start, the sooner it’s over with the better.”

“If you get upset again just stop for a bit and come find me, please don’t block me out okay.”

“Okay I promise.”

Fox kissed me then let me go, I knew this would be a hard battle but one I had to win. Soon I was back in that room reading the title on the first folder yet again, Alex Krycek conception to twelve years old.

As I pulled out the enclosed sheets of paper I realized I knew nothing, I had no memories of most stuff or had blocked it out.  
The first sheet was regarding the parents I never knew anything about, or hell even knew I had. Father Nicholai Artzen Russian K.G.B operative, strong healthy intelligent male with ties to Russia. Perfect material mentally and physically to sire a son, payment in return – United States visa and a new start.

Mother Alexandra Krycek also Russian (both parents need to be Russian to infiltrate K.G.B in the future.) Strong and healthy with no immediate family and easy to get out of Russia. Overall perfect physically and mentally to bear a son only one drawback, she is only fifteen so the program would have to be delayed by three years which is not acceptable, alternative action needed then she would be exiled back to Russia.

Great I was starting to feel really sick, so maybe they had stolen her eggs and I really was just a fuckin test tube baby, also I had to wonder what Spender would have done if the baby was a girl, they only mentioned them having a son so would they just keep going until one was conceived.

Conception should have been easy and we wanted it natural however Alexandra had been unwilling to participate, Nicholai had proved himself to be a full hot blooded male and a worthy man. Outcome successful and conception occurred on first attempt.

Great now the depression was really starting to settle in again as I realized I was the product of a rape, a fuckin rape for God’s sake, a rapist father and a bloody kid for a mother.

A boy had also been the outcome so operation was a success with Mother been the only problem after birth, Alexandra Krycek was adamant that it was her son and she wouldn’t give him up, Mother was unwillingly sent back to Russia and child taken by force.

Great without Spender in my life I might have been loved, shit now I was starting to wonder if my Mother was still even alive, I knew her name and that she was sent back to Russia, ha it was nothing but a dream as what the hell would I say to her anyway, so all I could do was carry on reading. 

The subject would remain in the care of a strict Nanny and upbringing until the age of five, He was to be treat like an adult and not a baby as training would start at five years of age. Luis Cardinal would also be trained alongside the boy.

I read out certain parts as there was just so much to read it would take ages, it was to become obvious that Alex Krycek had not turned out as planned. Spender had wanted a highly skilled assassin and not just some pathetic boy and the reports reflected this, Alex as a child was unable to defend himself in combat against Luis, he has no inability to fight back and is a quiet lonely child. Luis however turned out to be a far greater success in every way possible.

There seems to be some genetic flaw in the boy we created, we had spent many years and much time on the project. Unless another use can be found for Alex Krycek he will be of no use to the Consortium, outcome to be terminated.

Great I was nothing but a kid and Spender wanted to just terminate me, I was a human life yet nothing to that cancerous bastard because I was not like my Father. I decided that I had read enough of the first file as none of it was good, great my life so far up to the age of twelve.

I flicked through the photos of the unsmiling baby then the sad child, there were also a couple of photos of my parents, the only thing I had in common with my father was my height. My Mother was so young just a child, she had really dark hair and green eyes and I had looked like her as I myself was young.

I sat there and hugged the photo of her and sobbed, Spender had robbed me of a family and a life so he would pay for it, also Cardinal would pay for also destroying my life.

Fuck this, I grabbed my jacket and soon found a weapon and car keys. I wanted revenge more than I’d wanted anything in my life, shit, shit, shit I threw open the bedroom door and walked straight in to Fox.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“Out of my way Fox as this doesn’t concern you at all.”

“Fine okay so you’re pissed off but you’re also pretty weak, on top of that you don’t even know where you are.”

“So where the hell am I ?”

“Alex it’s the middle of nowhere, even I have to use a sat nav to get here.”

“Fine I will be okay then.”

“You’re not leaving.”

  
“Fuck you Mulder your not my keeper.”

“No I’m meant to be your lover.”

With that I lunged at Fox and shoved him to the floor, shit then suddenly I was raising my fist to hit him. It took me only a few seconds to realize just what I was about to do to the man I loved, my past was already destroying my new future with Fox.

“Do it Alex if that’s what you really want, shit you owe me so I won’t stop you.”

“You should have just let me go Fox.”

“Fine you’ve been in that room all day, just get some food and rest and I will let you go.”

“What just like that, so what’s the catch Fox.”

“I come with you.”

“Fine whatever.”

I never spoke for the rest of the evening, I just grabbed a sandwich and went to bed alone but no matter how I tried I couldn’t sleep.

“Fox do you fancy a hot chocolate.”

“Yeah that would be nice.”

We sat in silence lost in our thoughts, finally when I’d finished I put the mug in the sink then turned to Fox.

“I’m off to get some sleep.”

“I will drink the rest of this and I’ll be in soon, God I’m tired myself.”

Fox joined me in the bed and was soon asleep, it was only then that I climbed back out of bed and got dressed. I was so glad that I’d found the sleeping pills in the bathroom, there was no way in hell I would be taking Fox with me and endangering his life. I grabbed what I needed and slipped out as I knew exactly where to find Luis.

It took me over three hours to get where I wanted to be and that was speeding, I just wanted to get there while it was still night with darkness on my side.

Finally I arrived at my destination to find the condo in darkness, good it looked empty however I knew Luis would most likely be there. He was so predictable and would be in there with some hooker or another, at least it would be easy.

Once in I had no problem finding the room as I had been here unwillingly in the past, I listened for a few moments and then kicked the door open before anyone could move. There the bed was occupied by two people, one male and one female.

“Make one wrong move Luis and you’re a dead man, and as for you get your clothes and get out.”

I waited until I heard the door shut and the hooker leave that was when I looked at Luis’s pathetic face and released the safety catch.

“On the floor and on your knees now Luis.”

“What the fuck do you want Krycek?”

“Revenge.”

“Revenge for what, what the fuck did I do to you?”

I reached out with my other hand and punched him in the face.  
“You fuckin bastard, you beat me up and raped me then you destroyed my life.”

“Go on then you spineless little prick pull the fuckin trigger.”

Great I started to tremble and suddenly wanted to throw up, one bullet and I would be as bad as the man I was shooting. Hell maybe Louis was right and I was a spineless wimp after all.

“Shit you really can’t do it can you Krycek.”

“No Louis but I can after what you did to him.”  
I turned around fast to see Fox stood in the doorway, then it was like slow motion as the bullet hit Luis straight in the centre of his forehead.

“Move now, come on Alex we need to get out of here now.”

I just stood there frozen until Fox yelled for a second time.

“For fucks sake now Alex please move, we can’t risk getting caught when we are both supposed to be already dead.”

I remained silent as Fox took me to the car and placed me in the passenger seat.

“Come on Alex talk to me.”

I remained silent as my brain just worked overtime, I just saw image after image flash before my eyes nearly all bad. That was my life I saw and now it was time to find my voice.

“Stop the fuckin car now.”

Shit I was so glad that I was wearing my seatbelt as the man slammed on the brakes, however I knew that Fox was wary by the look in his eyes.

“Jesus Alex did you have to yell like that.”

“I have to go.”

“Go where, please Alex let’s just get home and then we’ll talk I promise.”

“I don’t have a fucking home, I don’t have a fucking life and I wish I was fucking dead, do you fucking understand?”

“Shit Alex please calm down and you do have a life and a home with me.”

“Fuck you Mulder.”

“Back to Mulder now I see, so what have I done now Alex?”

“You don’t trust me at all do you?”

“Of course I trust you Alex.”

“Trust, ha so that’s why you followed me Mulder.”

“You froze and you could have got yourself killed.”

“You don’t get it do you.”

“Get what Alex?”

“I don’t give a fuck anymore and wished he had killed me.”

“Please babe don’t do this.”

“Fuck off Mulder and just let me go or I’ll fucking kill you”

“Whatever Alex.”

Shit I felt a sharp pain as Fox punched me and then everything became black.

Later I opened my eyes as I heard a voice calling me.

“Come on Alex we’re back home now, I need you to get out of the car babe.”

“You bastard, I can’t believe you fucking punched me.”

“You asked for it Alex.”

“For fucks sake Mulder, cuffs too you’ve got to be kidding.”

“You can push me away all you want, however I know that you do love me Alex and that’s why you want to leave.”

“Shit Fox you just killed a man because of me.”

“Is that what’s bothering you Alex as I’d do it again to save you.”

“Shit you’re not a G man anymore and could get locked up.”

“Spender will make sure the mess is cleaned up, he always has Alex and always will.”

“Yeah but what if he finds out it was you Fox.”

“I used an unregistered gun Alex, please babe just calm down.”

“I will stay tonight Fox then I’m gone.”

“Please Alex, if you love me stay.”

“I told you I am leaving because I love you, shit it works two ways.”

“What does Alex?”

“If you love me Fox let me go.”

Once Fox had removed the cuffs I went back to the bedroom alone, not that it was to last long however. I woke later that night after a really bad nightmare with a sore throat, I also realized that I had a pair of arms around me holding me tight.

“Come on babe everything’s okay don’t worry, you were having a really bad nightmare and screaming Alex.”

“I’m so sorry Fox.”

“What are you sorry for Alex, you’ve done nothing to be sorry for?”

“Yeah right wake up Mulder, I treat you like dirt and all you want is a relationship with me. Truth be known I don’t know if I will ever be capable of having an intimate relationship either.”

“You’re here Alex and that’s all that matters, I love you so much and would be happy with just that. Shit yeah I would also be happy to make love to you, but if it never happens so be it as long as I have you.”

“I just think you would be better off with someone else.”

“I can’t choose who I love Alex or just turn my feelings for you off like that, I told you we can take each day as it comes however you have to let me in if you need help.”

“Okay we will have to see then, however I will totally understand if you get sick of me.”

“Why would I get sick of you?”

“Let me see, well I’m unstable most of the time a waste of space, and I can’t understand why anyone would want to love me.”

“You’re a gorgeous intelligent man Alex and you’re mine, and as for me I’m far from perfect.”

“To me you’re perfect Fox.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t read the rest of the files babe, especially if it depresses you this much.”

“I have to know Fox that’s why it would be better if I left, you shouldn’t have to put up with all my mood swings or depression, and it’s just not fair on you.”

“I can cope Alex that’s not the problem, it’s just seeing you so upset and not been able to do anything.”

“Would you really give me some space?”

“Of course Alex if it meant you would stay.”

“Fine on one condition Fox.”

“Anything Alex if it’s possible.”

“I will use the spare bedroom with the en suite bathroom for the next few days, I have to be on my own to do this Fox.”

“Fine at least I’ll know you’re here and safe, what about food Alex?”

“Just leave something outside the door now and again, I need to read them so they can become the past if that’s possible.”

The next morning I had a coffee and moved the files in to the other room, once done I went to find Fox.

“Have you got everything sorted out babe?”

“Yeah are you really okay with this Fox?”

“If it’s what you want Alex then I’m okay with it.”

“Thank you Fox, God I love you so much.”

“I love you too Alex, come on the sooner you start the sooner you finish.”

I went in to the room closing and locking the door behind me, I then picked up the second envelope marked twelve to adult. I felt sick as I remembered some of those years really well, however soon I was reading it knowing I had to do it.

Krycek was now a twelve year old and still unable to follow orders, he was supposed to do as his elders asked even if it brought pain upon himself. His options were assassin or termination, however the boy had shown that he was incapable of becoming an assassin and I might have just one more option available.

Alex Krycek had his mother’s looks and was already turning in to a good looking teenager, it would just seem a waste to terminate the subject. Unbeknown to Alex his future would depend on the outcome of a social gathering, Luis was ordered along with Alex to have sex in the main room in front of everyone. 

Things had become messy with Alex refusing a direct order yet again. Alex had no idea that Luis had been given one more extra order, he was to beat Alex within an inch of his life then rape him.

It was apparent that termination was now inevitable, Luis would be given the order to put a bullet in the head of Alex Krycek. He was to be executed the following night in front of everyone, however the next day the bastard had a stay of execution, I had finally after twelve years found a use for Krycek.

  
It appeared that one of the spectators and future customer liked what he saw, some of the other men also would be happy and very turned on with the unwilling boy. Krycek was to become the number one whore for the Consortium, he would have to service at least two customers a day to carry on his new role.

He would hardly have any days off as the men got more turned on by the blood and bruises, also by the boy himself as his body became that of a man.

There were no names mentioned in the files however I knew everyone of them, they had all raped me except one the English man who had never even wanted me to undress. The Englishman had spent most of his time just talking to me, shit I started crying as I realized someone had actually cared about me.

I decided that now might be a good time to look at the photos, I had read enough of my past to know what I was and had become. However I was soon to wish I had never got the photos out of the envelope, all the pictures had the same themes brutality and rape. Photos of me spread out naked on a bed, ones of me strung up naked getting fucked or whipped in every one, then the ones showing the marks after the bastards had got their rocks off.

Shit I sat there and wondered why I had never fought these men, I was starting to get angry and badly wanted to call Fox, I had even made it to the door and unlocked it before I changed my mind. Fox would not want me if he were to see the photos and the whore I was, and deep down I was scared of Fox hating me or been alone again.

I just grabbed all the photos and threw them on the floor, I wanted all of them images and scenes as far away from me as possible. I then threw myself on the bed and lay there sobbing until sleep claimed me, I had cried for the childhood I had lost, also for the family I was never to know.

Later that night I sat bolt upright, great another nightmare as that was the second already tonight. I sat and the first thing I saw was the photos yet again, the second was Fox sat in the chair over in the corner.

“What the fuck are you doing in here Fox?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay Alex, I take it that you’ve just had another nightmare.”

“Yeah I’ll be okay soon enough though.”

“I’m not surprised that you’re having nightmares, shit do you really think it’s wise looking at photos like that before bed.”

“Yeah maybe not such a bright idea, however I’d rather not have had to look at them at all.”

“Why didn’t you tell me Alex and maybe I could have helped?”

“What do you want me to say Fox, your lover has been fucked every way possible in every fucking hole possible, fucked by every dirty old man just so they could get their fuckin rocks off.”

“Calm down please Alex, God I’m sorry you had to suffer like that from being a child.”

“I don’t want your pity Fox so just go so I can sleep.”

“I can stay if you want me too.”

“So you can feel sorry for sad little Alex, well news flash Fox I’d rather be alone.”

“Have it your way however I don’t know why you have to do it alone?”

“It’s how I’ve always done things.”

“Yeah but you’re not alone anymore babe.”

“Yeah well I might be again one day soon.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean Alex.”

“Nothing.”

“It must mean something.”

“Just fuck off Fox.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me.”

“Fine you sleep there then Mulder.”

“Great its Mulder again is it, for fuck’s sake just grow up Alex and talk to me.”

“Get the fuck out now Mulder before I seriously hurt you.”

“When your capable Alex, however don’t moan at me if I’m gone one day as I can only take so much.”

As soon as Fox left I re locked the door, shit I really had not wanted him to see the pictures of me like that. I looked at the picture Fox had thrown down on the chair as I had to know what he’d seen, it was the one of me on my hands and knees getting fucked up the backside by a masked man, there was also another masked man with his cock down my throat.

Maybe it was time for me to go my own way and not bring Fox to my level, I knew it would hurt to lose the man I loved but my feelings didn’t matter. Now was not a time for me to even think about been selfish, I bet if I kept pissing him off he would soon be kicking me out anyway.

That was to be my new plan, I would piss off Fox and leave as soon as the files were read. I only had one more file to go anyway and I was just flicking through it, as it was time to put my past to rest once and for all.

As soon as I woke I went straight to work on the final file, not a lot had changed as I was still the consortium whore and dogs body. Spender had wrote about my assignment with Fox Mulder and the F.B.I, he had also wrote that I was besotted with the Agent.

So Spender had known all along that I liked Fox, however the rest of his comments left me feeling so alone. 

Alex Krycek is unable to act on his feelings, the man is too withdrawn and hot headed. He has serious anger issues and is unable to relate or have a relationship with anyone, I see the outcome for subject 1013 as very bleak and lonely with the exception of consortium usage.

I threw the folder across the room as if it was diseased, I was just a fucking test subject to be used and abused for fun by Spender and his associates. It was only then that I also noticed one more envelope with a few things inside, I decided that I would start with the letter that was in the Englishman’s handwriting.

Dear Alex If you have got this far chances are you read the files on yourself, I had a loving family and a long life something you were denied. You were special to me Alex and I should have taken you away from Spender, I was a coward and can’t change the past and what happened to you, this is my way of trying to apologize for my behaviour and to give you a future.

I want you to take the contents of the envelope and use them to have a life, find someone special Alex who you can share your life with. I know that you had a crush on Agent Mulder and I have also tried to help him, he’s a good man Alex and would take care of you. Just remember you were never just a test subject with a number to me, take care and have a long life.  
The Englishman.

So maybe someone had cared somewhat about me however it was too late now, I decided that I had dwelt on the past long enough and had to move on. I guessed a good place to start would be checking out the other items, well it was far more than I had ever expected or been given by anyone.

There was a deed to a property in the Cayman Islands along with a bank book, the bank account had more money than I had ever seen in my life. Apparently I also had use of a private plane and trained pilot, the contact number said the pilot was available day or night no questions asked.

The final item was a piece of folded blue writing paper, I unfolded it carefully and spread it out to read it. I felt so light headed and sick as my brain registered exactly what was wrote on it.

The writing was for an address in Russia along with the occupants of the property, the occupants were one Alexandra Krycek aged fifty along with her twenty year old son Mikhail Krycek.

I struggled to breathe, shit I was struggling to have a relationship with Fox whom I loved, now on top of that I have a Mother and a young brother. Great it suddenly also hit me that I might not be welcome in their lives, she had another son now and it had been over thirty five years. Hell would she even care about me anymore or know I was alive, shit I was the result of a rape and better off forgotten.

So many problems in life and all I wanted to do was hide from it all, Spender was right and I was a sad pathetic loner. I lay on the bed for the next few hours just thinking about my life and what I had, I finally came to the decision that I could not handle relationships of any kind, I would leave Fox and forget all about having a family.

I knew that I would have to act fast on my decision or I would become too weak to leave, I needed to move and get my stuff packed then get the hell out of here. I shove all the files and papers in to a hold all and went to get my clothes, the bedroom was empty so I just grabbed a few items and also shoved them in the bag, I had been so pre occupied with packing that I hadn’t heard the door open. Great there stood Fox looking more pissed off than ever before, I knew that things might not end well and I had to get out.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going yet again Alex?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Like hell you are.”

“It’s better for both of us this way please Fox.”

“That’s your opinion Alex not mine.”

“Just move as I’m not in the mood for games.”

“Who’s playing, if you want me to move then make me?”

“You stubborn fuckin bastard, believe me I’m leaving here one way or another.”

“Me stubborn, take a look at yourself as your nothing but a selfish prick Alex.”

Fuck I saw red and lunged at Mulder, however he saw me coming and threw me on the bed and sat on me. How could I be a selfish prick when I was leaving to save him?

“Get the fuck off me Mulder.”

“Not until you listen Alex.”

“Fuck you.”

“Now that’s not a nice way to talk to your lover Alex.”

“Fine will you Fox Mulder please let me go?”

“Not a chance in this lifetime babe.”

God Fox was been so nice to me and I just fell apart and was too weak to carry on, Fox held me in his arms and stroked my hair.

“God I love you so much Alex and would be nothing without you, please babe stop fighting me every step of the way.”

Why the hell was I fighting this man when everything felt right with him, I lay in his arms and knew I was safe.

“I love you too Fox and I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to you.”

“It’s over Alex and were still together, I love you and want to spend my life with you.”

“I thought you would see me as dirty and no longer want me.”

“You can get them silly ideas out of your head, hell I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything before”

“Fox.”

“What.”

“Would you do something for me?”

“Anything for you Alex.”

“Make love to me.”

“It would be a pleasure babe.”

“I love you so much Fox.”

Great I lay here as Fox started to undress me placing kisses on my body, shit I was so turned on and needed him so much as he’d been a fantasy for so long. I was so lost in my own thoughts of Fox and suddenly jumped, shit the fingers in my ass felt so good and I knew I would come really fast.

“Please Fox just fuck me hard.”

“Patience babe, believe me I’ve waited so long to do this.”

“Yeah me too.”

Shit I lost all coherent speech when I felt those talented fingers hit my prostate, shit then all of a sudden they were gone and I felt lost again. Then suddenly Fox was bending my legs and entering me with his cock this time.

“God Alex you’re so sexy Babe, I don’t think this will last long the first time as I want you so much.”

“Me either, come on Fox we can always do it again afterwards.”

“Why do I get the feeling you’ll be all the exercise I need.”  
God I wanted to scream as he plunged deep in to me and pulled out again, I was in heaven and this was all I ever wanted. It would only be a few minutes before I would plunge in to ecstasy, a place I wished I could stay forever. 

“Jesus Fox I can’t hold on much more.”

Soon Fox started going faster while he also jerked me off, I could not take much more and the stimulation finally had me coming screaming.

“God Fox I’m coming now.”

“Come on lover come with me now, god Alex you’re so fuckin hot.”

We both came and Fox collapsed on top of me, I had never in my entire life felt like this after sex. I realized that this was making love and not just sex, however everything previously was rape and not even consensual sex.

I felt so high and really didn’t need to start thinking of the past once again, I wanted to move on and leave all the ghosts behind.

“Is there any chance you can move Fox.”

“God yeah I’m just so exhausted lover.”

“Me too, will you just lay next to me and hold me.”

“I would do anything for you Alex.”

Fox moved and lay beside me while I fell asleep in his arms, however it was soon morning and I was the first awake. I lay there just staring at Fox and his gorgeous body, the man was perfect in every way possible and he was also mine.

Fox loved me and had made all the nightmares go away, it was the first time in many years I had spent the night sound asleep. I had thought that it was maybe a good idea to tell Fox everything about myself, however it could always wait until after some morning fun and exercise.

Soon Fox opened his beautiful eyes and lay there staring at me, shit I had not stopped to think if he would still even want me.

“Are you okay Alex as you look a little pale, I really hope you’re not having any second thoughts lover?”

“Regarding you Fox no, I want you more than I‘ve ever wanted anything, I love you so much and feel safe here with you.”

“Good and I will help you any way that I can Alex.”

“After breakfast will you read the files Fox?”

“I will only read them if you’re really sure it’s what you want.”

“If we plan to make this work you need to read them.”

“That’s fine Alex I will read them after breakfast.”

“I also want your intelligent advice regarding family matters.”

“What family Alex?”

“Read the file first babe.”

We both remained in bed until we had both come once more, then we had a shower that was well and truly needed at that point. After a quick coffee and some toast Fox went off to read the files, as for me I had tried watching television then listening to music.

No matter what I did I was unable to concentrate at all, deep down I had this feeling that Fox would no longer want me. It was to be another few hours before Fox finally showed himself, he walking in to the kitchen looking exhausted as he sat at the table.

“Any coffee going babe before I fall asleep?”

“Yeah sure.”

  
Shit my hands were shaking so bad as I poured the drink, great I also realized that Fox was watching and too had noticed too.

“Alex…”

One word was all it took to reduce me to a quivering wreck, I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore as I waited for the rejection.

“Alex please don’t cry, Alex please just look at me and tell me what’s wrong?”

“You don’t want me anymore do you Fox?”

“Of course I do babe, what the hell gave you that idea anyway?”

“Maybe because I’m nothing but a dirty fucking whore, how the hell can you touch me now after what you’ve read and seen?”

“You’re not a whore Alex, shit you never just went out looking for men to fuck you or did it intentionally. It was rape Alex and you’re not to blame at all, the main one to blame is that cancerous black lunged bastard.”

“You really want me Fox even now?”

“We are in this together Alex, so as a couple we will face everything together and be there for each other.”

“Together then Fox, however I still think that you must be mad.”

“Yeah madly in love with you babe, now move that gorgeous backside so we can sort some stuff out.”

“Thank you for everything and for putting up with me.”

“You don’t need to thank me Alex as I want to help, anyway let’s get back to the subject at hand. You need to lay most of your past behind babe and move on.”

“Only most of it, shit with that past it would be better just burying it all.”

“You can’t ignore the fact that you do have family Alex, somewhere out there you have a mother and a younger brother.”

“She has another son so she won’t need me now.”

“Look I will see if I can find out if she still lives there, I will even see if I can get Skinner to help me.”

“If you think so, shit I’m not really sure Fox that I should disrupt their lives.”

“We will just take it just one day at a time and see what happens.”

My day was to be spent reading some Stephen king book as I needed to do something, Fox was to spend the next few hours tapping away on his laptop or on the phone to Skinner. I started to become engrossed in the book about some writer with a split personality, every time I looked up there was Fox typing or making notes on a pad.

It was slowly becoming dark as the sun went down and I had to put a lamp on, I decided that food would be a good idea for both of us as we’d only had toast. I finally returned back to the room with a couple of omelettes on a tray with another coffee, I guess it was time to see if Fox had learnt anything.

“Food Fox come on take a break.”

“Thanks’ babe, I guess that I was lost in what I was doing.”

“Did you find out anything interesting at all?”

“Let’s eat while it’s still warm then we can talk, afterwards we can discuss things and just take it from there.”

“Yeah okay Fox no problem, I do trust you and believe you’ll decide what’s for the best.”

We sat down in silence and ate the food in front of us, God I was having so many confusing thoughts all at once going on inside my head. I was worried about my family and if I would even be wanted by them, I also knew that I wanted cancer man dead and to pay for what he’s done.

I had even been thinking of ways to do it without getting caught, shit that was when I realized Fox was talking to me.

“Alex anyone in there?”

  
“What.”

“I bet you never heard a single word I said.”

“Sorry Fox I was miles away, so what was you saying.”

“Your mother Alex, I said that she’s been paying to place an advert on the internet.”

“What advert?”

“Apparently she has been placing the same advert every year, she’s been placing it every year for the last twenty years according to the site owner.”

“What’s it say Fox?”

“Come on it will be easier to just show you it Alex.”

I soon found myself sat in front of the laptop waiting for the internet to load.

“Click on that bookmark there Alex.”

“Shit which one there’s hundreds, how can one man need to bookmark that much stuff?”

“Never mind I’ll do it myself.”

“Thanks’ lover.”

“Yeah whatever, come on just read it babe.”

“Fine keep your hair on Fox.”

I knew that deep down I was trying to put off reading it, I also was to learn that in thirty five years my mother had never given up on me.

Alexandra Krycek is searching for her son, possible names known by could be, Spender, Krycek or Artzen, he was born over thirty five years ago in Washington D.C. If there is any male of that age with either surname please get in touch. The man in question will also be part Russian and have ties to an unknown secret organization. I don’t know what else to say but if this is you or someone you know I beg of you to get in touch.

“Shit I don’t know what to say Fox, she never gave up on finding me even after all this time.”

“I know babe it must have been hard for her too, she went year after year searching with nothing in return.”

“I wonder what she meant that I would be part Russian as both my parents came from Russia.”

“Who knows, hey maybe you could just ask her in person Alex.”

“You really think that I should meet her then?”

“She’s your Mother Alex and she never gave up on you or chose to give you away, she needs some sort of closure babe.”

“What would I say to her Fox, shit I also have a twenty year old brother to deal with.”

“Remember what I said to you before Alex, just take one step at a time and see how it goes.”

“Yeah okay, I need to just go lay down and think a few things through as I have headache.”

“Do you want me to come with you babe?”

“I’m fine I just need a bit of space Fox.”

“Okay just remember that I love you and we can deal with this together, you’re not alone anymore Alex.”

“Okay I love you too Fox no matter what. “

Fox kissed me lightly on the lips and let me go.

“Go have a rest Alex it will do you good.”

I went and lay on the bed but sleep would not come, shit my brain was working overtime and wouldn’t just wind down. I lay there for over an hour and knew there was one main thing between me and a future, things were going to be my way or no way at all.

I knew that Fox would feel hurt and pissed off when he finds the room empty, however there was no going back and this had to be dealt with.  
I had a set of car keys I taken a few days ago, it was still in my nature to make sure I didn’t end up trapped somewhere.

I was lucky and the Lexus started the first time upon me trying, I also had to pray that Fox hadn’t heard the car engine and come rushing out.  
It took me over two hours to reach my destination without incident, now it was time for that cancerous piece of shit to pay for what he did.

 I knew all the back ways and how to reach his office, hell I’d been there many times in the past for one reason or another. I opened the door as quiet as possible knowing he was inside, he never realized we knew he was around by the amount he polluted the air. Shit that was when I heard the raspy voice that I hated more than anything.

“Alex dear boy good to see you, I had been led to believe you were deceased.”

“Well as you can see you’re not as well informed as you think.”

“It appears that way, well anyway it’s good to have you back in the fold once more.”

“You sad pathetic fuck, do you really think that I would come back after everything. You had me whipped beat and raped by Luis and many more old bastards in the past.”

“Yes well you needed to be punished Alex so you would become stronger.”

“How is dear Luis, sorry I forgot your little pet’s dead.”

I was sick of this cat and mouse game that was going on, I pulled my gun out and pointed it at the one person responsible for everything. 

“Now it’s your turn, I am doing what I should have had the courage to do years ago.”

“You shoot me now Alex and they won’t let you leave alive.”

“Do you really think that I care anymore, if you’re gone it will be worth sacrificing my life for?”

“Alex I am warning you.”

“Not so big now are you old man?”

I lifted my hand and aimed the gun at his chest firing off one shot, by the look of shock he had truly believed me incapable. I wanted to make sure he was well and truly dead, I aimed once more and emptied the rest of the bullets in to his body before running.

I had lied when I said that I would sacrifice my life, I now had Fox to stay alive for and he was worth more than anything so I had to get back.   
I made it as far as the car and was about to open the door, shit the pain was immense as the bullet struck my shoulder.

I was so close to getting away and could not just give up now, I managed to drag myself in to the car and put my foot down to escape. I gritted my teeth and suffered the pain as I saw the headlights behind me, I was losing a lot of blood now and felt really dizzy but I refused to give up.

 I was doing over one hundred miles an hour and was slowly going to pass out, I love you Fox and I’m so sorry I left you alone. I felt light headed and my body ached all over, on top of that I could hear a couple of voices in the distance.

“Mulder god I’m so glad you came straight away when you got the call, as soon as I heard about the accident I knew it was one of your cars and covered.”

“I can’t thank you enough Skinner for all you’ve done, has anyone said anything at all regarding how he’s doing.”

“Personally I‘d swear he’s a cat with nine lives as he was very lucky, the car ploughed in to a muddy field which slowed the speed a little and with the airbags.”

“So he’s going to be okay then?”

“Yeah a couple of broken ribs and concussion that’s most of it.”

“What do you mean by most of it?”

“Alex also has a gunshot wound to his shoulder.”

“Do you know where he’d been Sir?”

“I have men looking in to that now Fox but things have changed.”

“What’s changed?”

“Mulder you need to accept that Alex Krycek is nothing but a liability.”

“He’s not.”

“Mulder you’re only seeing what you want to see, we worked so hard to make everyone believe you were dead and would do the same for Alex. At the end of the day his actions are causing problems and putting his life at risk, he is also putting you at risk please see that.”

“I won’t give him up Sir as he’s my life, shit without him I’m nothing.”

What a fucking idiot I had been risking the safety of Fox just for revenge, also I had nearly left him alone to face everything.

“Skinner’s right Fox and I am too much of a liability, please I’m begging you to let me go.”

“Don’t even think it Alex as your going nowhere unless it’s over my dead body, please Skinner there must be something we can do?”

“I will have a word with a few people I know but don’t get your hopes up.”

“Thank you Sir for everything and trying to help.”

“No problem Mulder.”

“Skinner.”

“What is it Alex?”

“If there’s nothing you can do I just want to thank you for all you have done already.”

“I will do my best to get you out of here alive and somewhere safe.”

Soon Skinner was gone and there was only me and Fox here, I knew by his gorgeous features that my actions were causing him great pain.

“I’m so sorry Fox for everything and the pain I’ve caused you.”

“That’s twice now that you have lied to me Alex, I love you so much but I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”

Fuck the words cut like a knife and the pain was unbearable.

“Please Fox I will beg if I have too, however I have no reason to leave you or lie anymore.”

“Why’s that Alex?”

“I killed Spender and I’m glad he’s dead, shit I fucked up big time and I know that. Look even when I was shot I fought to the end to stay alive for you, you’re my one and only reason to be alive now.”

“Even if we give it another go we’re still not safe here and need to get away.”

“I know, hell maybe we should just go to that island I appear to have inherited at least we’d be safe.”

“Yeah we will need help to get out of this hospital first before anything else, we’re just sitting ducks the longer we remain out in the open.”

I was becoming really tired and was struggling to stay awake, I remembered Fox saying he was off for coffee then it was daylight.

“Hey you’re awake babe.”

“How long was I asleep for?”

“About six hours as you were exhausted, Skinner paid us a visit while you were sleeping.”

“Could he help at all?”

“Skinner has gone to the house with a couple of men he can trust, he’s retrieving everything of importance including all your files.”

“So what do we do now?”

“Skinner got in touch with that pilot that the Englishman suggested, we will be meeting him in three hours so he can fly us out of here.”

“How are we going to get from here to the plane, shit Fox there’s no way I am risking your life again.”

“Everyone will believe that you will be leaving in an ambulance that will turn down a road for emergency vehicles only, if anyone’s following they will have to drive right round and by that time you’ll be gone.”

“So who will be in the ambulance?”

“It will have SWAT inside in case they get stopped or encounter any problems.”

“So what about us Fox?”

“We will be leaving a different way by car.”

“Can we trust the driver?”

“We should be okay Alex as the driver will be Skinner.”

“What do you mean by we?”

“I’m coming with you Alex.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea leaving with me?”

“We go together or I call the whole thing off.”

“You’re one stubborn man Fox.”

“Likewise Alex.”

“So once we get on the plane we fly to the island and we should be safe.”

“Not exactly Alex.”

“Why what do you mean?”

“We are going to Russia before we go to the island.”

“Please tell me Fox that you’re joking.”

“No joke babe, we are going to Russia for a couple of days to see your family, after that we will then fly on to the island.”

“I see that you have been busy while I was asleep.”

“Alex babe your not angry are you.”

“No I am not angry and how could I be after what I‘ve done to you, shit I’m fuckin petrified Lover.”

“Right we need to get you showered and clean clothes so we can prepare to leave.”

“I can’t wait as I hate hospitals.”

Deep down however I was terrified of leaving here and meeting my family, however I was not about to let Fox know that I was just some pathetic coward.

Soon we were all ready and it was time to meet with Skinner and get out of here, I felt sick and knew it was because I was risking the life of the man I loved. Despite all my worries and doubts we were soon meeting with Skinner, we were informed that the ambulance was been followed and we were in the clear.

I drifted in and out of sleep as I was still exhausted from the accident and shooting, everything was going so well and it fully hit me on the plane where we were going. Shit we were safe and on our way to Russia to meet my family, it was about now that I was struggling to hold things together.

“Fox I don’t think I can do this.”

“Do what as everything’s going fine and according to plan?”

“Meet my Mother as I might even look like my father, shit the man who raped her.”

“She has searched years for you Alex, I think you owe it to her to let her know you survived.”

“Shit she might hate me because I’m gay.”

“Alex are you just trying to find excuses now, we are going end of story.”

God I loved Fox with all my heart despite him been so bossy and stubborn. I spent most of the plane ride in silence and lost in my own thoughts, thoughts of the family I never knew I had.

“Alex pay attention lover as the pilot was talking to you.”

“Sorry I was miles away.”

I listened to the pilot as he now directed a few questions at me.

“I was just telling your friend that you have an unusual surname, I have only ever heard that name once before in my lifetime but that was over thirty years ago.”

Suddenly that got my attention and I wanted to hear what this man knew.

“Where was it that you heard the name?”

“I was a pilot even all those years ago and just followed orders, I was to fly a young girl over from Russia such a pretty thing, however she was extremely worried about what was going to happen.”

“I’m not surprised at that age she was worried as anyone would be, anything could of happened to her once she arrived in America.”

“I don’t think the young lady in question was worried just for herself, she was the only female on the plane and I found a pregnancy test in the bin, I believe that she had a baby that she was really concerned about.”

I sat there for a while trying to process this new information, and there was one thing that stood out more than any.

“Don’t you get it Fox that raping bastard was not my father?”

I felt so elevated and now wondered just who my real father was, I decided while I was here I might as well question the pilot some more.

“Do you know what happened to her?”

“I heard through the grapevine they sent her back to Russia after taking her baby.”

“Yeah they did that all right.”

“Did you know her, sorry what am I thinking as that’s way before your time.”

“She’s my Mother.”

“Whoa now I am totally shocked, actually you look a lot like her she was a pretty little thing.”

“That’s where were going now, to meet her and also my brother.”

“Good luck son as I hear she was devastated when they took you away from her.”

“Thanks, can I just ask one more question.”

“Go for it.”

“How was it you were a pilot for the consortium then all those years ago, yet you never told them she was pregnant.”

“My father was one of the consortium members and that’s how I got the job, with my Father family was always to come first and he despised what they were doing to her. My father also made sure that she had some money to keep her going for a while, he felt that she was still a child and needed some help.”

“I take it your Father was the Englishman.”

“Yeah that was him, he had even tried to get her child well I mean you out a few times.”

“So how come you never told Spender or anyone about her pregnancy.”

“I told my Father and he said no one else needed to know.”

“Right is there anything else as we will land in just a few minutes.”

Once on the ground Fox and I thanked the pilot for everything.

“We can’t thank you enough for all the help and information, Hell I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Will.”

“Thank you Will it’s been a pleasure.”

We now waited for a cab to arrive that would take me that last step to my family, however things were just moving too fast and one arrived within minutes. I started to find it hard to breathe as we were enclosed in the cab and wanted to get out.

“Stop the car now.”

“Alex what’s the matter?”

“Shit I really can’t do this Fox.”

“Please Alex just breathe and try to calm down.”

“Just stop now I need to get out.”

As soon as the car stopped I got straight out, I just stood there breathing in and out as much as I could. I felt so guilty about my behaviour and knew Fox deserved better than me, God even my family deserved better than me.

“Are you okay babe, Alex talk to me?”

“I’m fine Fox I just needed some air and panicked that’s all so don’t worry.”

“It’s natural to be nervous babe.”

“I just need to wash my face in some cool water as I feel hot, there’s a coffee shop just over there and I’ll be back in five minutes.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No you had better wait here with the cab and all our stuff, I promise that I won’t be long and everything will be okay.”

“Okay babe I love you and we will get through this together.”

“I love you too lover more than you’ll ever know.”

I gave Fox a long lingering kiss, deep down I knew that it would be the last one that I would ever share with him again. I walked away and never looked back as inside my heart was been torn apart.

As soon as I entered the coffee shop I spouted some bullshit about been followed, I managed without any real problem to be allowed to use the rear exit to leave. All I wanted was to get a few miles away and find a bar, I wanted to get pissed and forget about the coward that I really was or the heart I’d just broke.

I finally found some backstreet bar and ordered a triple vodka, it was not long before I‘d drank that one and was ordering a few more. There was even a point when I had truly believed I’d seen my Fox, however I guessed it was just my mind playing cruel tricks on me.

Soon I was way beyond just been drunk but I no longer cared, hell it’s not like I had to answer to anyone as I had no one any more, good old Alex run away when the shit hits the fan. Great soon I was to have some company of my own, a young bloke sat right beside me and ordered a double vodka.

“Can I buy you a drink if you’re by yourself?”

“Whatever but I don’t need any company.”

“Fine hey I’m not trying anything so don’t worry, names Mike by the way.”

“That’s nice.”

“What’s your name?”

“It’s Alex or whatever you want it to be, to be honest I don’t care anymore.”

“Yeah you looked rather depressed sat there, let me guess I bet its woman problems?”

“Look Mike thanks for the drink and all but I don’t need to talk about it, and especially to a stranger.”

“Sometimes talking to a stranger can be easier, Hey I will just sit here and listen not judge you.”

“Fine whatever but you’re wrong about it been a woman as I’m gay.”

“Okay I see.” 

“What does that bother you?”

“No Alex I’m fine with that you see I’m gay too.”

“Yeah well I bet your not single though.”

“No I have a great partner Sasha and I love him more than anything, you’re a good looking man Alex so there must be someone out there?”

“There was but not anymore, things change and its better this way.”

“Better for who Alex?”

“It’s better for him, God the man deserves far better than me.”

“I’m not been funny but don’t you think he should have a say too.”

“No he’s a stubborn man and won’t see reason no matter what.”

“Maybe he might be right.”

“I’m a pathetic worthless piece of shit, just drop it I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

Fuck now I look a right idiot with the tears running down my face, shit I need to get out of here. 

“I’m sorry Alex and I never meant to upset you.”

“Look Mike just forget it as it’s time I left anyway.”

“Do you live near?”

“I don’t live anywhere, I just sleep wherever I end up, D.C Russia and Hong Kong, oh and let’s not forget the fuckin silo too.”

“Look I have a spare room you can use to get some sleep, you might feel better in the morning.”

“Won’t your boyfriend mind?”

“No Sasha’s cool and will understand, come on let’s get out of here now.”

“Thanks for this Mike I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem at all.”

Fuck the alcohol hit me the minute I got outside and I threw up, Mike helped me get back to his place and get me in to bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow I must have passed out, next think I knew I was alone in a strange room.

I lay in a rather large bed just thinking, I was thinking about Fox and if he was coping without me, shit what had I done to him. Shit I could have had Fox and my own family, yet here I am all alone and sleeping in some strangers house.

I was starting to get really depressed and wished I was dead, I just drifted in and out of sleep until the knock came on the bedroom door. I had thought the banging was just inside my head and ignored it, which was when Mike put his head around the door.

“Good morning Alex is it okay to come in?”

“Yeah of course it is, and thank you for letting me stay and putting up with my shit.”

“It’s been a pleasure, however I have a confession to make and can’t keep lying to you.”

Great is he going to be some serial killer, shit maybe he wants a threesome and is in to kinky shit? No matter what I had not been prepared for what he told me.

“Don’t tell me you’re some serial axe murderer?”

“No you’re safe so don’t worry, it’s just I like you and don’t want you to hate me.”

“I’m sure you haven’t done anything that bad Mike.”

“I had just always wanted someone there like a big brother.”

“Yeah I can relate to that but I’m not brother material, hell I don’t even have friends.”

“Did you love the man you was with?”

“I loved him more than anything but I blew it.”

“Look please don’t hate me Alex but my name is Mikhail Krycek and I am your brother.”

Fuck I’d not been prepared for that at all and my breathing became worse as I knew I was having a panic attack, my chest felt so tight and I thought I was going to die right now.

“Please Alex don’t do this just breathe, shit I have just found you and don’t want to lose you. Please Fox can you get in here now, Fox please help me.”

My brain registered the name, shit there was no way he could be here after what I did to him. Suddenly I was in someone’s arms and they were stroking my hair.

“Please Alex come on babe I love you so much, come on babe please just breathe for me.” 

My breathing started to slow down and the weight removed from my chest, yet the tears became far heavier than before.

“God I am so sorry Fox please forgive me.”

“Alex I forgive you because I love you however you’re hard work, please just stop running out on me all the time. You have to learn that I am here for you Alex and will listen, you just need to learn how to talk to me.”

“I know it’s just that I was alone for so long, shit I just find it so hard to communicate with people after been on my own.”

“I gather you’ve met your brother.”

“Yeah I’m sorry for scaring him like that, how did he find me or know who I was.”

“I looked for you Alex when I realized you’d ran out on me yet again, I went to meet your family and then we searched for you. I just wanted you to be safe and for you to meet them too, I thought sending Mike might be better rather than me coming in.”

“Great so now I look like the pathetic loser who goes home with anyone.”

“He seems to like you Alex and got on with you great.”

“Yeah he seems okay and I’m sure we will get on, shit Fox it was just a shock that’s all.”

“Yeah it must be hard as so much has happened in such a short time, but believe me Alex I want you and a life together more than anything.”

“Yeah I can’t say I’m sorry enough, however I promise that I will talk to you next time I have a problem. Shit Fox I’ve just had a thought.”

“What’s that babe?”

“If my brother is here where’s my Mother, have you met her yet Fox?”

“Yes she’s here Alex and will want to see you, however she said there’s no pressure and you can do it when you’re ready.”

“What’s she like Fox is she nice.”

“She’s really friendly Alex, you look a lot like her with the same hair and eye color.”

“Does she know about my past and what I’ve done, shit if she knows how can she still want me as a son.”

“Alex the Englishman kept her informed of what you were doing, plus your mum herself has first-hand knowledge of what Spender is capable of. You’re her son Alex and she never wanted to give you up, Spender ruined her life as much as yours babe.”

“I would love to have a family, shit I’m just scared as I’ve never had anyone in my life before now. Mike and I got on well last night, it was good and like I’d known him for years.”

“They are your family Alex and they will love the real you, please don’t let Spender ruin the rest of your life as he’s already had enough years.”

“Yeah all thirty five years of my life were ruined by him and I’m glad that he’s dead.”

“Yeah he’s dead Alex not you, it’s time now that you had a life and a family and move on, shit after what you’ve suffered you deserve some happiness.”

“So do you Fox, I have loved you and wanted you for so long.”

“We can stay here for a while if you want, in the future we can set up a home together me and you.”

“That sounds great Fox now how about a kiss.”

Fox kissed me and I knew that I never wanted to be without him again, this was my dream and I wanted it to last forever.

I need a shower Fox do you think Mike will mind.”

“I’m sure he won’t mind, just wait here Alex and I will go ask him.”

“Fox.”

“Yeah what is it babe.”

“Once I’ve showered and cleaned up I need to meet my Mother as she’s waited long enough.”

“You’re doing the right thing babe, I’ll be back in a minute and I’ll be with you so don’t worry.”

After Fox left I stood up and wished I hadn’t, I had been drunk before yet had never felt this bad. I wanted to be sick and tried my hardest not to be but I could not help it, I threw up all over and then collapsed on the bed, shit what the hell was wrong with me.

Afterwards I remembered hearing voices in the distance, also there was someone wiping my forehead and kissing me. I had to wonder if I was in heaven however with my past it would be hell. I could also remember someone holding my hand and telling me they loved me, I could also hear my Fox crying but was unable to go to him.

All I wanted was to open my eyes but it was too hard, I needed to know if I was dead or alive. It was sometime later that I managed to force my eyes to open, well I was still in the same bedroom where Mike had let me stay, it was dark now and there was a small lamp next to the bed. It was then that I noticed the chair and Fox fast asleep in it, I just lay there and watched the man I loved so much sleep.

He was so gorgeous and perfect also he was mine, I was miles away when I realized that he was watching me.

“Welcome back babe, God you scared us and we thought we were losing you Alex.”

“Lose me why, what happened Fox as I can’t remember much at all?”

“You have been really ill and had a severe infection and blood poisoning.”

“I remember feeling sick but not a lot after that.”

“You had an infection where you were shot, shit Alex when did you last clean it or take your meds.”

“Not since we left the hospital as I thought I’d be okay, and there was no point taking the meds if I was just getting drunk.”

“Look it’s the past and the main thing is you’re okay now.”

“Did you stay with me Fox, I can vaguely remember someone wiping my forehead and kissing me?”

“That was your Mum Alex, she thought you were going to die without her seeing you or getting to know you.”

“Is she here now?”

“Yeah she owns the house and Mike still lives at home.”

“Will you go get her Fox please?”

“Alex sweetheart she will be asleep as it’s only three in the morning.”

“Shit sorry I never thought to ask the time.”

“Don’t worry about it babe I’ll get her in the morning.”

“Will you come and lay with me Fox and just hold me.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

I still felt really tired and weak but I had Fox, sometime later I was in heaven as I drifted to sleep in his arms. I woke feeling so happy and could not remember when I last felt like this. When I opened my eyes I realized I was in the bed alone, however the chair was not empty.

I knew straight away that it was my mother, I could also tell that I had got most of my looks from her. She got up and threw her arms around me as we both cried so much, it was after some time that she finally spoke to me.

“My baby I thought that I would never see or hold you again, I had fought so hard to keep you but that bastard took you anyway. I never ever forgot about you or stopped loving you, you were always in my heart and I prayed for this day.”

“I never even knew I had a family as Spender never told me about you, I would have given anything to have had a normal life and family. How can you still want me now after everything I’ve done, I’m bad and have done bad things plus I’m dirty?”

“You are my Son Alex and my first born, you never chose your life and it was chosen for you. I was told that you did what you did to survive, believe me Alex I’m glad more than anything that you survived everything they did too you.”

“Do you like it here in Russia, shit I don’t even know what to call you?”

“Call me Alexandra or Lexi if you want.”

“Can I call you Mum, it might be strange at first as I’ve never had a Mother before?”

“Alex I would be honoured to have you call me Mum, and it’s not like I’ve been a mother to you in the past.”

“Yeah but you’re the same as me, it was not like they gave you a choice.”

“I was very young but also happy to be pregnant, I knew it would be hard but you were mine and I wanted you so much, however suddenly I was in America and it was all to change.”

“Yeah he ruined a lot of people’s lives and I’m glad he’s dead. Shit I am just scared that you and Mike will be at risk because of me coming here.”

“Well I’m also glad he’s dead, and believe me Alex I will move if it means been safe and with you and Mike.”

“So move with us then.”

“I stayed in the past for two reasons Alex, it would have been hard with my income also I prayed that you would show up here one day.”

“I have more money than I will need in my life, hey I also have a place in the Cayman isles.”

“Yes I was aware that the Englishman liked you, I myself also have a lot to thank him for.”

“I will have to leave here soon as everyone believes that Fox and I are dead, the island would be safe and a good start for all of us.”

“I’m so pleased that you finally have a life Alex and want you to stay here for a bit.”

“Please just come with me and Fox, I’ve just found you and can’t lose you now.”

“I would need to sell this house plus there’s Mike and Sasha.”

“I have money just pack what you need and leave the house, you will have everything you want and a new house, please mum just come with me.”

Great now I was really crying and the pain in my chest was unbearable, I couldn’t lose her now and would risk staying if I had to.

“Please Alex don’t cry, it’s your money and one day you might need it.”

“You’re my Mother and I just want you more than the money or anything, I also want to get to know my younger brother.”

“Fine if staying here will put us all at risk we will leave when you do.”

“Will Mike come?”

“If he can bring Sasha he will come, plus he also seems keen to get to know you.”

We all sat down to a meal that evening, we had also made plans to leave Russia in one weeks’ time. First I wanted my family to know everything about my past, maybe they might decide to change their minds once they knew everything.

“Look I know that you said the Englishman told you stuff about me, I just need to know how much you know about me.”

“I was told that you had a very rough and strict childhood without any love, also at the age of sixteen that you became an assassin. I won’t hold it against you Alex if Spender forced you to kill for him, how can I or anyone for that matter.”

“Do you want to know the truth, do you want to know just how many people I killed.”

“Alex it’s up to you to tell me what you want, also to tell me when you feel ready and up to it.”

“I killed one man named Augustus Cole, I only killed him because I believed he was going to kill Fox.”

“So you were only protecting the man you love Alex.”

“I had other jobs too as I was not what Spender wanted, shit I was just not cut out to go around shooting people.”

“Alex please.”

“I’m okay Fox.”

“Please if this is too distressing just leave it, it’s the past and I don’t care what you did.”

  
“I don’t want there to be any secrets between us, everything needs to be out in the open so you can understand.”

“As long as you also know there will be things I need to tell you too.”

“Jesus I need a bloody drink, I need to get out of here for a while.”

“Alex please Son you don’t need to drink.”

“I will take Fox with me to babysit and we can talk soon, please mum I’m just finding it really hard that’s all.”

“Fine as long as you do take Fox, you could always take Mike and Sasha with you and have a talk with them.”

“Yeah it would be good to get to know them better.”

“Please take care Alex and look after yourself.”

“I promise, “I’ll be back soon anyway Mum.”

We ended up having a good time and a lot to drink, life was good and I was so happy that I had my new family, also I had the man I thought I would never have in this lifetime. Soon we were on our way back and could hardly walk and just staggered along.

We had walked so far when I doubled over in absolute agony, shit it felt like my insides where been torn out.”

“Alex come on piss head get up.”

“Please Fox it’s not the drink, fuck I can’t move because of the pain.”

“Shit Alex what’s up babe?”

“Fuck it’s my kidneys playing up again, please Fox just get me home.”

“Fine but then I’m calling a Doctor.”

“It will wear of soon so don’t worry.”

“Tough luck Alex, I am worried and you will be seeing a Doctor like it or not.”

“Fine Fox if it gets you off my back.”

Once back home the pain was to become far worse, shit even I would have demanded a Doctor if one wasn’t already on his way. I was given some antibiotics and told to go to the hospital in the morning, the Doctor wanted to do a kidney scan to see what condition they were in.

“I think it’s too much stress Alex and you need to rest.”

“Fox it’s my own fault that I feel like this.”

“Too much vodka babe?”

“Fox Lover.”

“Okay what is it Alex as you’re sucking up to me.”

“I have a confession to make, you did say I had to talk to you and not run away.”

“Come on then out with it, and yes Alex I’m pleased you’re talking instead of running for a change.”

“I saw a friend a short while ago who happens to be a Doctor, shit I just drank loads when I thought you were dead Fox. It was not long before the same happened and I collapsed, it was my kidneys and I had a severe infection. Look he warned me if I kept drinking my kidneys would fail.”

“And don’t tell me Alex, shit you never listened to him did you. First you get shot and are on medication and we find you in a bar pissed and just to fucking top it off you spend the night out drinking, getting pissed on extremely strong vodka I may add.”

“Don’t pull any punches will you, shit kick a man while he’s down why not.”

“Maybe I don’t want you killing yourself, first thing in the morning we will be at that hospital do you understand.”

“Yes Boss, can I have a kiss now.”

“You Alex Krycek are hard work do you know that?”

Once the meds started to kick in I felt a lot better, Fox even made love to me and was so gentle with me, God I wanted to just cry every time he held me as I loved him so much. However morning came around fast, I knew that I needed to speak to my Mother before I did anything else.

“Mum would you please sit down as we need to talk, myself and Fox are going to the hospital soon but I need to tell you a few things. I want you to think about everything I say while I’m gone, then I need you to decide if you still want me here.”

“Alex you’re my Son and I want you back no matter what.”

“We will see but please just hear me out.”

“Fine if it makes you feel better go ahead.”

“Okay here goes, I had a shit childhood as you already know with no love or parents. I had a step brother Luis who I was brought up with, when I reached the age of twelve we were meant to have sex together, it was to be in a room with a bunch of old men watching and getting turned on. I had freaked out and totally refused to follow the order, Spender gave Luis permission to beat and rape me because I refused his order.

The order was given to terminate my life as I appeared useless at everything, then Spender had heard that the others got off on the rape and abuse, they had just found me my new role within the consortium.  
I was to be beat and raped on a regular basis for best part of my life, I faked my death to be free of all of them.”

“It’s okay Alex we can move on.”

“Hell I still don’t even know why Fox even wants me.”

“We will talk more Alex if that’s what you want, but please Alex just go to the hospital and get this sorted first.”

“You’re not disgusted by me.”

“You are my child and I wish I could change what Spender did to you, all I can do is be here for you now and move forward, you will always be welcome in my home and my life.”

I hugged my mum and struggled to hold back the tears, now I had to hope I’d not fucked up my own life with all the vodka. When we got back home I ran upstairs locking myself in the bedroom, I cried and cried but knew I had no rights. Shit how could I cry over something that I’d caused and brought upon myself.

Later after some sleep I went to the bathroom, I washed away the puffy face and all the tear tracks, it was time to go downstairs and share my news. I found everyone in the kitchen so no time like the present.

“Great how do I say this?”

“Do you want me to tell them babe.”

“No Fox I need to do this myself.”

“God Alex if you’re sure you can.”

“Yeah okay I will just cut to the chase, I have a kidney disease and have drank way too much vodka over the years, here goes I have kidney failure. I need to find a donor and have a kidney transplant, a relative is a most likely match and without it my life’s over.”

“I’m your mother Alex so I might be able to donate a kidney, you said a family member would be most likely to match.”

“They said I was to go back later today and bring anyone that they could test.”

“I will be there along with your brother as we won’t lose you now.”  
Later we arrived at the hospital and everyone was willing to be tested, even Fox and Sasha were going to have the test. The hardest part had to be waiting for the results, I was told the wait would be at least two hours before they would have news.

I must have started to wear holes in the carpet, shit it would be just my luck to lose everything now. Soon a Doctor finally came in to the waiting room, he said he had news and needed to talk to us all.

“Right Mr Krycek we have the results from all four possible donors, I will start with your immediate family if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah go ahead.”

My nerves were on edge and I wanted it over with, I knew a lot of people would be depending on the results too.

“Polycystic kidney disease is a heredity condition, the kidneys become covered in cysts that vary in size and lifestyle can affect them.”

“So you mean what we do can make them worse, if so I’m well and truly fucked?”

“Yes Mr. Krycek there are certain things that can speed the growths up along with age, I am afraid that you appear to have inherited it from your mothers DNA. Your Mother along with your brother also have the disease, however due to their lifestyle their kidneys are working okay at present.”

“So they could donate a kidney to me as they’re family.”

“No Mr. Krycek I’m sorry but it’s not that simple, we cannot use infected organs in a transplant even if there is no damage to theirs, it just wouldn’t be ethical or productive to do so.”

“Shit happens as I know only too well.”

“As for Mr. Fox Mulder and Sasha Karloff, I’m sorry but neither one was a match.”

“So no luck with any then?”

“No I am sorry Mr. Krycek that no match was available to you.”

“So basically I’m screwed then?”

“Without a transplant I would give you a life expectancy of six months, if a suitable donor is found in that time we will operate.”

By now I was hardly listening to anyone anymore, I had fucked up and now would pay in the worst way possible. Shit six months left with my new family, also only six months left with the man that was my life.

Fox had his arms around me and was hugging me, it suddenly hit me what a selfish bastard I was thinking only about myself. Shit I realized that the people I loved were suffering too, also that they would now get to watch me die. Great so now I had fucked up so many lives as well as my own.

I did what I always do under pressure in true Alex Krycek style, the minute everyone appeared distracted I bolted. I just ran and ran, I kept on running until I was ready to collapse. 

I knew that I had to stop- and decide what to do with the short time I had left, how I saw it was that I had only two choices left anyway. I could run and keep running for the next six months, or on the other hand I could just speed it up and get it over with.

I found the nearest bar and ordered a triple vodka, with any luck after a few triples I would just pass out and forget everything. Shit I had to keep drinking and force the images away, all I kept seeing were images of everything that I’d just lost.

 As for myself, well I guess that I’m back in the gutter where I belong, that smoking bastard was right when he said I would end up a loner. Well it wouldn’t be too long and I would be seeing old Smokey again, even in hell he wouldn’t be safe from me.

Soon the vodka was starting to have the desired affect and I was out of it, however I must have the worst fucking luck in history, I couldn’t believe it when I woke to find myself in a hospital.

Shit it also wouldn’t be long before I got to see my gorgeous Fox once more, even though it was not a face I wanted to see under the circumstances.

“Hey you’re awake Alex.”

“Yeah it looks that way, just tell me why you did it Fox?”

“Did what?”

“Bring me here so you can watch me die, you should have just left me to die alone.”

“Alex you’re not dying babe.”

“Not yet but I soon will be.”

“We found a donor Alex, shit you’ve already been here for over two weeks.”

“How come I’ve been here that long, and by the way who’s going to be the donor?”

“Firstly you have been here that long in a coma, secondly you’ve already had the transplant Alex. I’m not sure about the donor apart from the fact it’s a relative.”

“So I’m healthy then and not going to die, shit you’re telling me I have even more relatives.”

“If I have my way you’ll live until you’re really old babe, hey we still have that island to go live it up on.”

“Yeah just no more vodka, so where’s my mum and brother anyway?”

“She went to get a coffee with Mike, when they come back you can ask her about the donor.”

I lay there and could not believe how lucky I was, shit I now had a life thanks to some unknown relative. I’d fallen asleep on and off for a while, I opened my eyes to see my mother as she’d come to shed some light on things.

“I’m glad you’re awake and looking healthier Alex, Fox said you wanted to see me regarding the donor.”

“Yeah he said it was a relative.”

“The kidney came from your real Father Alex.”

“Shit I‘d never even thought to ask if he was alive, so where is he now?”

“He’s still here as the transplant never went to well at first, I don’t think he was willing to fight at first once he knew he’d saved you.”

“What do you mean never went well, also where’s Mike.”

“Your Father has had a few medical problems in the past, as for Mike he’s with his Father, well your Father too.”

“So me and Mike have the same father, shit I just thought after fifteen years he might not have been on the scene.”

“Alex you remember when you told me about your past, I told you that there were also things you needed to know well I think it’s time now.”

“Okay so what is it, what’s up?”

“I would rather us all be here together, that way I can explain everything to everyone at once. There are also some things Mike doesn’t know, however something I found out changed that.

“Why what did you find out?”

“Alex things changed when I found out the name of your lover, and it might just make you change your mind about been with us.”

Great now I needed Fox and Mike to return to get answers about my father, also I need to know what the hell Fox has to do with it all. It was not long before all four of us sat in my hospital room, fuck I could not believe just how nervous I was with all this waiting.

“Hey Alex sweetheart do you want me to wait outside?”

“Hell no Fox I need you here, plus you always said we are in this together.”

At least my mother spoke up and agreed with me on this.

“I also think that you should stay Fox for two reasons, one you’re his partner and he loves you, two this also concerns you and your life.”

“How does it concern me?”

“Both yourself and my son may have some disagreements when I’ve had my say, you Fox might decide that you don’t want to know me or Alex.”

“Please mum I love Fox and I don’t think anything can change that, so can we just get all this over with.”

“Okay now you know that your father is alive, you also know that he gave one of his kidneys for transplant. However for you to understand everything I need to start at the beginning, all I ask is that you please hear me out.”

“Of course we will, go ahead mum please.”

“I was a young girl and so in love, his name was Misha and he was only seventeen two years older than myself. There had been another man that kept making passes at me but he was way too old and in his thirties, please don’t think that I was the type that just slept around with anyone. Things between myself and Misha became heated one night, and that’s all it had been just the one time. It was only later on that I started to feel sick all the time, I was naive and believed I couldn’t be pregnant after just one time.

I decided to buy a pregnancy test anyway for peace of mind, however I was grabbed and on a plane before I had chance to use it. At the time I had no idea where the plane was going, I didn’t even know what had made them take me. While on the plane I went to use the bathroom, it was while I was there that I also used the pregnancy test.

It was later that I found myself alone with just strangers in America, I was a fifteen year old girl with no one and pregnant.”

“That black lunged bastard deserved what he got and I’m glad I did it.”

“Very true Alex, however at the time I’d never heard of the man, and I would have never dreamt that evil could exist like that. Soon I was to learn that I was to carry a child for them, they also even had the father all lined up too. I never told them about you Alex as I was scared they would terminate the pregnancy, they had exact plans as to how their experiment would turn out.

I was told that I’d be taken to a room and had to comply, however when I entered the room and saw the man I couldn’t do it. Suddenly everything was starting to make sense why they chose me, the man in question was Nicholai Artzen. 

Nicholai was a Russian K.G.B member and in his thirties, he was also the same man that had made advances towards me back home. He had suggested me to the Consortium as payback for refusing him, this way he got his revenge and still what he wanted. Upon my refusal the consortium gave him permission to rape me, they wanted a baby and wasn’t bothered if I was willing or not.

It was easier to let them think he’d got me pregnant the first time, however I was still unaware why they wanted me pregnant. After some months I realized I’d served my purpose, I was sent back to Russia while they kept you.”

“So they told you nothing, they just kept me?”

“I’m so sorry Alex but yes they just sent me back, I was abandoned back in Russia where they’d found me months earlier. I went in search of Misha but was unsure if he even believed I’d had his baby, I soon became depressed most of the time, Misha is a great man and stood by me because he loved me.

It would be another fifteen years before we decided to start a family, he believed throughout the pregnancy it to be his first child. When I went in to labour with Mike they told him I’d already given birth years ago, I think that’s when Misha started to really believe me.

Mike looked just as you had and Misha was a good father, however something snapped and he wanted to know where his first born was.”

“So even when I was born do you think he’d have wanted me, I just mean you were both very young.”

“It became his number one priority to find you, however it was hard for him without any leads or anything. It was when Mike was fifteen he got his first breakthrough, he knew by now you’d be about thirty but still wanted to find you.

This is where things become complicated and could be a problem, your father was given a name regarding one of the men responsible.” 

“How did he know the name was genuine?”

“Because there were photos too Alex, believe me I remembered every one of them, God it was like I was back thirty years ago all over again. Your father used his savings and got a plane ticket to America, he came back a few days later and said the man was dead.

Your father explained to me how he had shot the man, it was only later that I learnt the man’s name. I had been washing your father’s jacket when the paper fell out, God how do I say this?”

“Please mum at least try.”

“God Fox I am so sorry, the man’s name was William Mulder.”

“Let me get this straight, shit Fox you owe me a fuckin apology for spending years blaming me. Ha all along it was my old man that killed your father.”

“Alex apologize now.”

“”its okay Alexandra, believe me he was no father of mine after what he did to you both.”

“God I’m sorry it’s just Fox might finally believe me now, anyway Fox it’s unlikely he was your father, shit that makes it even more fucked up than I thought.”

“Come on lover what’s so fucked up now, you seem to find it very funny?”

“Don’t you see Fox, hell I’m your lover and I killed the man who’s most likely your father, while my father killed the man you thought was. Then it could also be either of your fathers that did this to me and mum.”

“Yeah okay put it that way and it’s fucked up, the main thing is whether me and you can work through this.”

“Why Fox can’t you or something?”

“Yes Alex I can live with it, however what your father did wasn’t as bad as what mine did. Shit what your Father did was in the name of justice, my father either one were just monsters.”

“Just as well you’re nothing like him Fox.”

“Well boys, if you’ve finished deciding whether you still love each other I have more to say.”

“Mum can I just ask a quick question first.”

“Of course you can Alex.”

“Was he Russian, it’s just in the advert it said I might be part Russian?”

“I’m full Russian Alex, as for your father he had a Russian mother and American Father.”

“Okay you can carry on I’d just wondered that was all.”

“Your Father was forty seven years old when he killed William Mulder, he has spent the last five years of his life in a wheelchair.”

“God Mum what happened to him?”

“Once he came back from America we hardly talked about what he’d done, we had to try and move on as Mike was just fifteen. It was a few months later that things would change forever. That day I lost the man I loved and Mike lost a father, as after that day he was never the same. We were just sat watching some program on the television, God everything just happened within seconds.”

“Mum are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah just give me a minute.”

“If you’re sure you can go on.”

“You have to know what happened Alex. “

“Okay Mum.”

“Two men burst in and one held me and Mike at gunpoint, the other put the gun to the back of your fathers neck and pulled the trigger. As soon as the job was done they just left, we were screaming and crying while we waited for the ambulance.”

“Yeah I bet it was one of Spenders many hit men, if I was thirty it will be one of the many I knew.”

“Well they knew what they were doing that’s for sure.”

“I’m just surprised they left my father alive, most assassins don’t fail.”

“I believe that they thought he’d just die, that was why we had him moved to a different hospital, he can’t be with us anymore as Spender would know he’s alive.”

“Did they speak at all when they shot him?”

“Only that no one messes with Charles Spender.”

“I need to see my Father, please you did say he’s here?”

“Alex just wait until your a little stronger.”

“Shit he’s in a wheelchair because of me, he also has one less fuckin kidney too because of me, good old Alex fucks up everything.”

God I had not expected the sudden slap across my face, even though it made me open my eyes and see why Fox had done it. Now was not the time to fall apart as we would need each other more than ever.

“God Alex I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry Fox as I deserved it.”

“Alex you had surgery not too long ago.”

“I’m fine and feel a lot better now.”

We were disturbed by a knock at the door, apparently it was a nurse wanting to talk to my Mother. She returned half an hour later and was crying, why the hell did I get the feeling there was more bad news.

“Mum what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m happy Alex and everything will be okay.”

“What my Father’s alright?”

“Yes he pulled through from the surgery.”

“Can you get a wheelchair and take me to see him?”

“Fine I will stay here with Fox, Mike can get the wheelchair and go with you Alex.”

I sat beside the hospital bed just watching my Father sleep, he had suffered so much trying to find me and help me. Could I leave Russia and also my Father behind, he was paralyzed from the neck down but his brain worked just fine.

The man was trapped in a body that was useless, shit he was also trapped away from his family because of Spender. When my Father finally opened his eyes he just cried, I had to sit here watching this man and could do nothing to help him.

My Father had to talk very slow so he could be understood, at least it meant people could still communicate with him and Mike was the first to speak.

“Dad this is your eldest son Alex, the one you searched for and never gave up.”

“Yeah I’m also the one you gave a kidney, you also gave me a life and a future and I can never repay you for that.”

“You’re my Son and I would do anything for you.”

“Yeah I heard that you never gave up on me.”

“I also heard that you Alex killed Spender.”

“Yeah I thought it was about time someone did it.”

“You look like your Mum Alex, you’re not planning on leaving are you?”

“I’m not going anywhere as I’ll be here for a few days anyway, you need to get some rest now and so do I.”

“Alex you’re my Son and I need to see you again.”

“Okay I promise that I will come back tomorrow.”

I said my farewells and went in search of my gorgeous Fox, it felt like ages since we’d actually spent any time together.

“Fox babe I think now were alone we need to talk.”

“Yeah so do I.”

“I still love you Fox and want you more than anything, however a hell of a lot’s changed since we became lovers.”

“Yeah you could say that Babe.”

“Fox I’m been serious here, shit you never signed up for all of this and my family.” 

“I signed up as you put it Alex to be with you, I love you and want to be here or wherever with you. I always told you that we would get through things together, plus you have a great family so what’s the problem.”

“Do you really mean that Fox.”

“God you are the most stubborn man I’ve known Alex, please pay attention and listen to what I’m saying to you. I Fox Mulder love you Alex Krycek and won’t lose you for anything. Is that clear enough for you Babe?”

“God I love you too Fox, however we really need to get out of here soon.”

“Yeah it will be good to get somewhere safe and have some time together.”

“You Fox Mulder just want your wicked way with me.”

“Very true Lover.”

“Now I also have my father to consider too, there’s no way I can leave him here Fox.”

“I never thought for one minute that you would leave him here Alex.”

“Do you think he will come with us?”

“For you Alex and all the lost years yeah he will come, also there’s his other son and the woman he’s loved for years.”

“God it must have been hard for him losing everything, all I want is for us all to be together.”

“We will be soon Alex I promise.”

The next couple of months were spent recovering and gaining my strength, also I had become very close to my father in the time I was here. However soon the time had come for us to leave, it was decided that myself Fox and my mother would go first and make a home for us all. The rest of my family would stay here in Russia hidden and safe until I return.

It was to be another three months before the house was ready, there had been a lot of work and many alterations so it would be okay. I had spent most of that time like a bear with a sore head, and there was Fox taking all the strain as usual. We hadn’t even made love since my kidney operation, I just had this deep down feeling that Fox would leave here soon.

I myself was making things worse, every time Fox came near me I used excuses or pushed him away. However the time had come to go back to Russia, it was now time to go get the rest of my family.

I had hired a private plane and some people to help, this was to be the last time I stepped foot in Russia. I had also caused many arguments between myself and Fox, he could not understand why I wanted to go without him, or why I wanted to go alone.

I hugged my Brother and loved him so much, it was good to see him happy with Sasha and happy about coming. My brother was prepared and had everything ready to go, we had decided that we were going straight back and wouldn’t be staying here. 

The person most surprised was my Father, he had truly believed that I would just leave him behind. The look on his face made it all worth while, he kept thanking me for giving him his life and his family back.

We made it back without incident and everything went to plan, also the house was fully accommodating for my Fathers wheelchair. We had decided to have a live in nurse that would help, however my Mother had made it clear she would be doing most things herself.

We had designed the house with a main family area, my parents would also have personal space on the ground floor. The second floor was to be for Mike and Sasha so they also had their own space, myself and Fox had the whole of the top floor so we had more than enough room.

It had been just as well we had plenty of room, I had been back from Russia for a week now and spent it in the spare room. Fox knew that I was lying to him about been tired all the time, I didn’t even really know why I felt this way or why I was acting like this. I think deep down I was scared Fox would leave me, shit I also wondered just how long he would put up with me or my behaviour.

Sometime later I heard the knock on my bedroom door, I also now knew it was time to face Fox without any excuses.

“Alex open the door.”

”Please Fox I just want to be left alone for now.”

“Alex you’ve been avoiding me for the last three months, please just talk to me.”

“Go away Fox.”

“You have two choices Alex, you open this door or I will.”

“Fine if it get’s you the hell off my back.”

I opened the door and was shoved backwards against the wall, shit Fox looked really pissed as he held me by the throat.

“What the fuck have I done to you, hell if you don’t want to be with me anymore just say so. Come on answer me now or I walk?”

“What do you want from me Fox?”

“Do you want to know what I really want in life Alex?”

“What.”

“The man back that I fell in love with.”

“God I’m so sorry Fox.”

“Sorry for what exactly, pushing me away or just treating me like shit.”

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever put you through, and I’m sorry for treating you like shit while you were trying to help.”

Fox moved his arm from my throat and hugged me instead, great I would swear that I was going to fall apart soon.

“Just tell me why you did it Alex, that’s all I want to know babe?”

“I thought you wanted me and just me Fox.”

“There’s only you so what brought this about, and believe me I want you Alex more than anything.”

“I didn’t think you would want my family too.”

“Alex babe, God they are part of you and have suffered too in all this, I love you and your family babe and don’t forget it.”

“I’m so sorry Fox and just jumped to conclusions.”

“Yeah and instead of talking to me you just shut me out, I thought that you was past that Alex and you trusted me.”

“I have had no one for over thirty years, shit then I got the one person I loved and wanted more than anything. We were good together Fox and then everything changed, suddenly there were more complications than before.”

“But we have coped them all Alex.”

“I just got it in to my head that I had too much too soon, or more than I ever deserved, I guess I just expected none of this to last so I pushed you away.”

”Alex I want us to legally be a couple, so you see if you accept this they will also be my family too and we have space to be together.”

“Fox did you just ask me to marry you?”

“Yes Alex, I’d wanted to do it over a romantic dinner but it doesn’t matter.”

“Great so I ruined that too.”

“Not yet you haven’t.”

“What do you mean Fox?”

“I couldn’t care less about where I ask you or even how I ask you, all I care about Alex is the answer.” 

“The answer’s yes Fox, God I would love to marry you more than anything.”

“You Alex have just made me the happiest man alive, I love you so much and yet was unable to even touch you.”

“I am so sorry, I would watch you and want you but kept on pushing you away.”

We had a great life with my family, sorry our family as six months later we legally wed. All my family were present for the ceremony, it was so good to finally be a true couple with the man I loved, also to have all my family together in one place.  
It also proves that for whatever reasons good or bad, that we cannot be held accountable for our parents or relatives. I loved Fox despite what his Father was capable of and wouldn’t hold it against him, Just as Fox was now married to the man who’d shot his real father.

Some things in life are just meant to be, if you find someone hang on to them, I had nearly lost the man I loved because of my actions. I was one stubborn bastard who refused to talk and believed I deserved nothing.

Caught Out

By CarolelaineD

18/07/2015

I wrote most of this story over two years ago and it was stuck on the P.C, so I decided it was time to finally give it an ending.  
All mistakes are mine and mine only, sorry no beta for this one and I live in a mad house with seven kids.

 


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